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The Fairway Of Life
Simple Secrets To Playing Better Golf By Going With The Flow ~
Rand Scott Marquardt
Life & Mental Golf Performance Coach 
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Competitive Spirit & Temper
Even Tiger Woods can do “better”…
I’ve been, wanting to write about this apparent insidious dichotomy for quite some time. For most of us having a competitive driven spirit with a burning desire to be our best almost seems to go hand in hand with short outbursts of temper tantrums whenever we hit what we consider a bad shot, or we at least give it some internal muttering. Does it have to be this way? Do you have a choice to be angry or not? What I have come to understand is to take the high road whenever I can when it comes to this apparent catch-22. Is it a perfect science, absolutely not! Like all of life, it’s an eternal process to become better than you used to be. You want to get so mad at yourself then finally you decide not too. That’s a big change and a big adjustment in most of our set patterns of behavior. And it is possible to do this WITHOUT losing one ounce of competitive fire, only to gain a “better” golf game in the long run! Is it possible to not lose your temper after a “bad” golf shot and still play your best from here on out? ABSOLUTELY! What do you think?
Geoff Ogilvy came to this understanding of taking the high road several years ago. Now look at his demeanor, without losing one ounce of his competitive fire. In an interview with John Huggan from Golf Digest after winning the 2006 US Open, Ogilvy shared some enlightening insights that he has come to understand with his golf game.
Q: As a young player, were you impatient on the golf course?
A: Oh, yeah. I was horrendous. I could hit five good shots in a row, then one bad one. I’m sure I was a nightmare when I was 16 or 17, as many at that age are.
Q: What sort of stuff did you do?
A: I’d throw clubs around. I broke a few. I used a lot of four-letter words. The temper stuff is easy to fix psychologically. You either get angry or you don’t get angry; you have a choice.
A: I realize now that I was getting angry for everyone else around me, not for me. When you get that, that’s the day you fix it. When you play by yourself, you never smack the bag with the club, or get angry…ever…because there’s no audience. That’s my theory, anyway. After you hit a shot you get angry because you want the person you’re trying to impress to think that you’re better than this. I think that’s the root of it for nine out of ten people. The other one is purely psycho.
Which one are you? Which one am I? Which one is Tiger?
Tiger Woods is still in the process of working through his own self-criticism and impatient issues. He gets mad at himself and drops some four-letter words, or uses the Lord’s name in vain, which I think is just a habit of attraction, not an intentional jab at God or Jesus. He’s stubborn, like many of us, as the day is long. He still thinks he has to get mad at himself whenever he hits a less than desirable shot to keep his fire and competitive spirit, which, by the way, I am certainly not judging. I am merely observing. I have been there most of my adult life.
Tiger states it this way after his comeback tied for 4th place finish in The Masters, “I received some criticism for bad language, which I apologized for immediately after Saturday’s round,” Woods said on his blog. “It’s tough when you’re in a competitive environment and in the flow of a tournament. I’m not perfect. All I can say is I’m trying to do everything I can without losing my fire and competitive spirit.”
The world’s most mentally tough athlete and golfer still struggles with his anger and foul language – perhaps it’s a habitual patterned response? He later apologizes as he seeks to work through this negative perception he is giving the public as a most recognized role model.
The real question is can one control, manage, or “be with” their apparent disgust of their “bad” golf shot while still keeping every bit of their competitive juices flowing? I say absolutely a resounding YES, but I invite you to experiment and experience it on your own. I shared some of this talk with the Petoskey High School golf team recently. Now I share it with a wider audience. These concepts and more are mentioned in my book, The Fairway of Life. Please visit me at http://golfissupposedtobefun.com and sign up for my free newsletter too!
Becoming a Champion
“The one who wins is always the one who wants it the most and is most expectant of it,” Abraham. And it’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. One essential ingredient in becoming a champion is to set the intention to become one. Like dreams, if we just willy nilly dance around them without ever fully committing, then nothing truly magical ever happens. You’ve got to make the commitment and stay in the process. Because the moment you think this doesn’t work, it won’t. It takes courage to keep on. It takes courage to dream and begin taking action steps beyond your normal way of being. It takes courage to step outside your current comfort zone. It takes courage to get your self up to speed with whom you say you wish to be. Maybe the reason you are where you are is because you’re scared to even set the intention for fear of failure? Maybe you’re afraid of success? Perhaps you’re afraid of what might be asked of you? Perhaps you just not willing to put in the time or you think money is the obstacle. Your greatest obstacle in your process is fear and doubt, and those are the culprits that kill many a dream and keep many golfers at mediocrity. Whereas, champion’s rise to the occasion.
“Fear of any kind is the number-one enemy of all golfers, regardless of ball-striking and shot making capabilities.”
—Jack Nicklaus
“I refuse to give into fear, real or imagined, or to be afraid either consciously or unconsciously of anything or anyone. I smile at my obstacles.”
—Tiger Woods
You can choose to keep on or fold like an accordion, yet all great champions overcame adversity and conquered their demons within. Everyone throws up all over themselves several times on their journey to becoming. It’s how you wish to perceive these growing pains. Every champion attributes their success to the adversity they overcame. They looked fear straight in the eye. Fear is your number one obstacle that must be dealt with in order to make it to the other side. Rather than be afraid of your fears, run away from them, I invite you to be with your fears. The more you become aware of them, the more you really look at them, the more you able to be with your fears, the more they disappear. For what FEARS really are is Fantasy Experienced As Real. Turn your fantasy into an awareness that is so powerful that you will thrive beyond your wildest dreams. You are Gods greatest creation and you are meant to win.
I looked “fear” in the eye and said, you come to me with confusion and darkness and failure…but I come to you in the light and strength of my being. I am in alignment with myself and you cannot stand against me.
In order to become the champion within you, you must first have the courage to deal with you fears – it is the biggest obstacle that lies between where you are right now and where it is you say you wish to be. Dealing with your fears is an eternal process. The alternative is where you are right now. One of the best ways to support you in living the life of your dreams on the golf course is to keep on feeding yourself more and more beneficial beliefs that uplift and inspire the true champion within you. “The game of golf is played mainly on a five-inch course, in a space between your ears,” Bobby Jones.
* More later about feeding our subconscious mind in a series of Creating a Champion’s Self-Image CD recordings to listen to over and over again.
You see, in order to become and begin developing the champion within you, you have got to become a match to you. What do you want? What does it take to become a match to what I want? Where do I begin? You must first ask yourselves a series of questions and then answer them. The best place to begin is exactly where you are right now. Once you begin to fully commit and set the intention to become, notice and become fully aware of what comes up for you, because without the commitment, there is not another level of awareness. Without the commitment there is not another level of growth, which is often messy. If you keep thinking what you’ve always thought, you’re going to keep getting what you’ve always gotten. My intention here is to wake you up, so you can choose and decide; to break you free from the grasp of mediocrity. “Champions give their best effort all the time,” Mike Krzyzewski. In order to fight through the mediocrity, you must first fight through your own demons of adversity, because they come first. Once you announce and declare yourself to be something, the exact opposite enters your experience first. Many will quit when the going gets tough. What will you do? With ease and grace, with humility, I invite you to keep on.
How do you see the game of golf?
For the most part I saw the game of golf as something scary, something I wanted to play so well at, yet I was afraid much of the time. Oh sure, I had my moments when I felt that everything was clicking. Golf was fun and I was caught up in the moment. However, the next day would come around and it felt like I was starting over with all my same old fears. If only I could start where I left off from the day before? I saw the game of golf as a sport I loved to hate – unless I was playing well. Slowly I am changing my tune (my self-image) to appreciate golf developing an attitude of gratitude. I am becoming more of the champion that lies within me! Do I still have nervous energy creep up before a round, and sometimes in the heat of the battle – you betcha. I’m just better prepared to handle such a monster. I am becoming my own coach, or an objective detective in my own process better equipped mentally to handle the task at hand. How do you see the game of golf?
Do you see the game of golf as a harsh, cruel, and frustrating sport? Or do you see it as an outrageously fun and enjoyable experience? Is it a grind and a struggle, or is it a pleasant stroll in the park? Do you remain open or are afraid to express your inner talents? Are you going with the flow or paddling against it? You see, how you perceive the game of golf will become an exact match every time to your experience. Whatever and wherever you give your focus, you will experience.
There’s no better feeling in the world on the golf course when everything just “clicks.” It’s a feeling of just knowing where the stream of Well-Being abounds. It’s as if God is flowing to and through us. We’ve transcended the self-imposed limit we have set. Champion’s expect to play well, and they do. Champion’s find them selves playing golf more often in The Zone. Sometimes we find ourselves in this Zone experience because we just temporarily forget about our fears. Almost out of nowhere it just happens for a spell. Yet, what if I told you that you could find yourself in this state of being more often? What would you say? Probably you’d say something along the lines of a BIG YES, of course, I would love to play golf more often in The Zone! Believe it and you will see it. Yet most have their doubts and will end up finishing their thought or conversation with a “yeah but.” Yeah but, I’ve got to swing a certain way. Yeah but, I don’t have enough time. Yeah but, my swing sucks…yeah but, yeah but, yeah but. Before your dream even begins to take root The Realist in us often compromises it, or squashes it. I guarantee you if you end your thoughts with a “yeah but;” then that will be what you’ll get. If The Realist takes over, you also get that. If you don’t believe any of this, you won’t. Most will say show me and I will believe it. What if I said the magic formula is believe it and you will see it?
Do you know why some golfers succeed consistently, and others don’t? Well, I do, and it’s all in how they perceive their world and what they allow to filter into the depths of their personal self-image, which is lodged deeply within their subconscious mind, which runs everything in their life, including their golf game. It’s called mental toughness in the golf world. Fortunately for some, like a Tiger Woods or Trevor Immelman, they have been trained from a young age with conscious parenting to become champions. For most of us, we must change our current programming; otherwise we remain stuck and acclimated to our miserable patterns of negative, fearful, and other foolish self-sabotaging behaviors and their mediocre results. To become a champion, you must act and play like one. You must believe in yourself. Arnold Palmer is doing his best in passing this kind of mental understanding onto his grandson, Sam Saunders. And he knows it’s up to Sam to grasp it.
Now on the other hand if everything is just clicking along and you’ve mastered the mental game of golf…then by all means keep on. Congratulations you’re one of a kind. But, if not, then we’ve got to start telling ourselves a new story, one that supports our new vision in being our best. The first place to begin is to start talking, acting, and playing like a champion. Acting as if it is already so. These new beneficial beliefs begin taking root into the treasury of our subconscious minds. At first it may seem like there are two of us playing this game, one who wants to have a new, more empowering self-image, and another who regresses back to our old fearful patterns of behavior. Be patient through this process of becoming and the relief of better feeling thoughts will be drawn unto you. The power and wisdom lies within you.
Therefore, let your new dominant intent to feel joy while you are playing this wonderful game and the freedom to express yourself, to grow in the process, and have more fun will come quickly and easily into alignment. See your golf as one of an enjoyable experience – even if you are well over par in the beginning of your round. Just keep asking for the alignment with the stream of Well-Being. You are God’s greatest creation and you are a creator of your own joyful golf experience. This is your mission. This is your quest. This is what you have been asking for – the freedom to fully express yourself feeling outrageous joy along the fairway of life. “Be as you wish to seem,” Socrates. Act as if it is already so.
Enjoy The Masters! Notice how Champion’s carry themselves.
Dialogue With Golf Enthusiast John Rowe
There is nothing more thrilling than a willing student!
John Rowe came to see me personally this past summer upon reading the article in the Petoskey News-Review regarding the releasing of my new book, The Fairway of Life. He just had to have an autographed copy and connect with me personally. I am so grateful he did. As it turns out he remembers my dad from many years ago. I recently received an e-mail from him and asked him if I could share it with all of you. I also provide some of my own feedback and questions back to John. Thanks John! Here’s to keeping on…
Rand,
I finally finished, “The Fairway of Life”. The delay was due mostly to a great September for golf! For the first half of the book it seemed a little like one of my pastor’s sermons; I found myself saying, “I get it, I get it!” Then for the rest of the book, I couldn’t get enough because I REALLY did get it! This is a must read for any golfer whether he’s there already or has lots of room for improvement.
John, interesting that you mention the part about a pastor’s sermon. That’s exactly what I thought I would be asked to become when I fully surrendered to God. I went on to ask John if in his opinion everyone could benefit from the messages in the book, including say a Tiger Woods or Phil Mickelson?
As for Tiger and his peers, if there is such a thing, it seems to me that ANYONE can benefit from a continuing education. That is to say, if they live with an open mind, then they are receptive to new and enlightening concepts; much like rereading the Bible or other spiritual writings. NO ONE got it all the first time through! And surprisingly, many of these very talented athletes will mention a book about their field they have recently read. Phil Mickelson is taking, as well as giving, short game lessons; doesn’t that indicate a continuing desire to learn and teach? My answer is a resounding YES, to your question!
A good teacher teaches what they need to learn even more. Practice the Infallible Formula: cause another to become that which you desire to be even more. Phil does this with his short game video, and Tiger with his clinics.
As a result of reading your book, I have developed for myself 4 main thoughts in anticipation of playing a round:
1) SEE THE BALL, BE THE BALL!
This encompasses all the various swing thoughts such as grip, setup, alignment, spine angle, clubface angle, etc.
2) LET IT HAPPEN!
For me, this replaces my “slow the tempo” thought, which I need when I start to rush my backswing because of a previous miss hit.
3) I AM LIVING THE DREAM!
This a “warm fuzzy” thought on my way to the course to tell myself I am the luckiest guy in the world! It is also a great “comforter” on the course should I begin to doubt why I play the game.
4) I AM A CHAMPION!
The use of this phrase is self-explanatory!!
I put these to use the other day as I played Hawk’s Eye with friends and it really does work! The weather was windy and 45F; why go to Scotland? I played some of my best golf although my score wasn’t great. I three-putted too often.
Just got back from playing 18 at Little Traverse Bay today (10/18) 46F and breezy; my partner was very impressed with my game and I did not tell him of your book yet, because I didn’t want his unsolicited observation tainted. He says something wonderful has changed in my game. As a note to you for future reference, his name is R** L********; just so you know a name of a real person who didn’t know before hand what he was seeing!!
Thanks for the walk,
John Rowe
Tiger Woods Gives Putting Tip To Sean O’Hair
Day one in the final match of the Fed-Ex Tour Championship on The Golf Channel found Sean O’Hair at the top of the leader board leading Woods, Padraig Harrrington, and Stewart Cink by one shot. And to think on Wednesday’s practice round Sean got a putting tip from Tiger to help sharpen his putting stroke.
Imagine someone helping another while competing with or against each other for the same prize. Well, in my new world I know now that my own toughest opponent is myself, and in ultimate reality I’m really not playing against another. However, competition can stimulate our own desire to become better. All the while we help ourselves by helping others – that’s called the infallible formula. I write about these kinds of concepts (and more) in my new book, The Fairway of Life. Tiger practices mentoring and helping others to become even better themselves. As he does, Tiger naturally becomes better himself. I suggest that you practice this wisdom from the ages as well. Cause another to become what you desire to be even more.
The Putting Lesson
“De-lofting” was Wednesday’s lesson and seems to be the key to O’Hair’s newfound confidence with his flat stick. “I tend to deloft the putter and take it a little too square going back,” O’Hair explained, after telling reporters that Woods’ tips were “a little too complicated for you guys.” Woods suggested that O’Hair add loft to the putter for a freer release through the shot. “If you take it straight back and you deloft it,” O’Hair noted, “you’ve got to hang onto it going through or the ball is going to go dead left.” You have to open up the blade going back in order to properly release the putter blade coming through. *Hint – one of those putting arcs from your local PGA professional will help guide you, unless of course you’re tight with Tiger :).
O’Hair says he has much work to do to elevate his putting. “I’m not even close to doing exactly what [Woods] told me to,” he said. “Let’s face it, [my putting] is kind of what’s held me back for a long time.” The guy has a point. While he’s 17th on the PGA Tour in birdies and scoring averages, O’Hair’s 29.61 putts per round has him languishing in the 159th position.
When asked what’s it like taking tips from the world’s best golfer? O’Hair responded, “Getting advice from good players is obviously awesome,” O’Hair said. “But getting it from basically the greatest of all time is pretty cool.” Woods’ good will was no surprise to O’Hair. “We all know how…great of a player [Woods] is,” O’Hair said. “But I think the thing that impresses me more is the quality of guy he is.” The fact that his golf guru is also his opponent was not lost on O’Hair. “I mean, I’m his competition, and for him to help me out like he did was very classy,” he said. The teacher, for his part, was happy to assist. “It’s very simple,” Woods told reporters. “You always help your friends.”
Having Fun
…And did anyone else pick up on Sean’s comments about taking golf too seriously after the putting tips dialogue? Seems everyone wants to write and talk about Tiger giving advice, which is obviously very cool. O’Hair went on to say that for the last 6-7 weeks he wasn’t having as much fun, kind of down on his game. He said, paraphrasing, ‘after all, this is my profession and I’m supposed to take it seriously [he thought]. Yet when I arrived here I decided to let it all go and was just going to relax more and have fun.’ Sean allowed himself to relax and have some fun with his golf. That’s the big reminder to all of us. How easy it is to fall into the trap that it’s serious. Next thing you know we’re not having fun and our scoring reflects that. So, lighten up and have fun with it! Even professionals have to catch themselves from spiraling downward with the fun quotient. All it takes is a simple shift in perspective and many will not allow themselves to “go there” and have fun – they want to take it sooooo damn serious until it kills em. Have fun and lighten up for God’s sake!!! When you’re having fun, the scoring will take care of itself.
“Why am I such a chicken,” Dinara Safina
The 2009 Women’s French Open Final
Tennis and golf are similar sports when it comes to the mind, mental toughness, handling pressure and stress…anxiety, fears, being in the now versus getting ahead of ourselves.
First, congratulations to #7 Swetlana Kuznetsova defeating Dinara Safina #1 in The French Open final 6-4, 6-2.
I enjoy watching those pursuing excellence in their sport of choice. I enjoy observing how athletes handle themselves in being their best. We can learn from the triumphs and the disasters, and treating those two imposters just the same, as Bobby Jones finally began to understand after years of coming in second.
As a life & mental golf performance coach I can certainly relate to the play from both of these tennis giants. I can feel their emotions and thoughts. Swetlana came out on top today…she was the one who was more calm and relaxed. Her thoughts were to go out there and, “have fun and enjoy it.” The pressure fell too deeply on the one who wanted it so badly she ended up pushing it further away. You could see it slipping as she missed shots and started pressing. Finally, she let it out in front of the whole world to see and hear, “Why am I such a chicken,” almost gesturing to her coach as she expressed her truth to herself. Why am I such a chicken is a great question to ask ourselves.
NBC TV announcers and analysts Mary Carillo and John McEnroe stated many keen observations about this match. It is my mission to pass these observations on to you in hopes that you and I will take our own game to new levels of mental toughness overcoming the fears, the chicken, or demons that lie within us.
Carillo and McEnroe picked up upon this energy as they witnessed the negative emotions, tenseness, and mental roadblocks get the best of the world’s #1. Carillo noted that Safina allows her nakedness to come through, often expressing her emotions when she breaks down, often crying. It’s my feeling that Safina wants it so badly that she pushes it further away. She prepares herself for this moment…yet the moment got the best of her. She gets ahead of herself and out of the now, and it is in the now where The Zone resides. “Just get out of your own way,” Carillo stated. “Easier said than done Mary, it’s a whole lot cozier up here,” McEnroe noted. “Just stay in the moment here…classic one shot at a time and this match would be far from over,” McEnroe continued as we all felt the pressure on Safina’s shoulders. As the breakdown continued there is a tendency to spiral further out of control, McEnroe reiterated, “You can see how the nerves are wreaking havoc on Safina.” The double fault to end the match ended the nightmare.
Now it’s a question of what can Safina do to keep her faith and belief in herself, so that the nightmare goes away? The answer: you’ve got to keep activating more and more beneficial beliefs and allow them to take root into your self-image, which is lodged within your subconscious brain, which runs everything in your life, including your tennis and golf game. Eventually you give more “air time” to beneficial beliefs and you literally drown out less beneficial ones – you become a new you.
So how do we create a winner’s self-image? Is it a perception that in order to win we then can believe in ourselves, that we are losers unless we win? Or, do we believe in ourselves, be happy, enjoy the moment and let winning take care of it self? How does one win? What is the secret or magic formula? What is the answer to all of this madness? How does one overcome “throwing up” all over oneself on the golf course – similar to what Safina just experienced in The 2009 French Open Final? What can we learn from all of this? What can we do to build that champions self-image?
Sit with these questions and answer them on your own. What do you think? Yes, we must experience this ourselves if we so choose to put ourselves on the line. My answer: it’s about creating a winner’s or champions self-image of ourselves. I show and tell you how to do this in Chapter 15 of my book The Fairway of Life. How much time you invest in yourself is a direct match to what you will reap. For now, seek to find good feeling thoughts no matter what. Stay in the now, and remember golf, like life and tennis, are supposed to be fun!
Dinara Safina is a great champion…and if she doesn’t know it…then that’s the problem! The same goes for all of us. Feed your mind, heart, and soul the nutrition that empowers you – the gift of believing in yourself, and loving yourself just exactly as you are…all the while gravitating toward the picture you are painting of what you prefer. Act as if it is so. “Be as you wish to seem,” Socrates
“I refuse to give into fear, real or imagined, or to be afraid either consciously or unconsciously of anything or anyone.”
“I smile at my obstacles.”
—Tiger Woods
Charles Barkley – The Swing vs. The Mind
The man speaks his mind…openly and candidly. Charles Barkley is an icon of epidemic proportions. Charles is a fun character to observe. He shows up big wherever he goes, sometimes too big…and now he’s a case study for one of the most brilliant golf instructors in the world. He’s the Hank Haney Project, golf instructor to Tiger Woods, as seen on The Golf Channel. Will Hank succeed in his quest in making Charles Barkley a better golfer?
I think the answer to that question is certainly “yes,” at least to some degree by sheer exposure and routine. Hank seems to believe that the problem is with his swing plane, not his mind. However, others like Padraig Harrington thinks that it’s all in Charles’ head and says he “needs a shrink.” Which is it? Is it all swing or all in his head?
Perhaps it’s a little bit of both. Let’s face it, Charles’ has been seen in celebrity pro-ams…and he can be downright dangerous. His swing is awkward and out of plane…so a correction is part of this process. He can also use some redirection with his beliefs and how he talks to himself. Perhaps he’s sooooooooo candidly open and honest to a fault. Keep thinking what you’ve always thought and you will get what you’ve always gotten.
Charles says he’s not getting any better when it comes time to play the course…hence a self-fulfilling prophecy. Or he tells himself that he’s not very good. Another obstacle to him playing his best is that he keeps yapping his trap about how he’s going to beat others. His ego gets the best of him, which takes him even further out of his natural zone or flow. Charles is a piece of work and he gets what he’s asking for…it’s a perfect match.
Now, if he really wanted to get better, I would suggest that he set his intention and begin acting as if it is already so. In other words, Charles, start telling your self a new story instead of the reality of “how it is.” I would invite Charles to return to dreaming his dream, like when you were young and ambitious with visions of being your best as a basketball player. We gravitate toward the picture we are painting. I see doubt and negative thoughts and self-sabotage, along with his thoughts of playing against another (a big ego) being the real culprit or obstacle to him playing his best. It will be interesting to watch Haney perform his magic and see if this mind-memory connection to his golf swing will click and work for Charles on the course when it counts. However, I know that golf is more than just swing plane. Swinging on plane in a repetitive manner must help with some degree of confidence…you would think?
I would go back to the drawing board with Charles and have him set a new intention to the kind of golfer he desires to be. Golf and life will proceed out of your intentions you set for them. I would suggest that he invest the time to begin creating and building a new champion’s self-image within his subconscious mind, “…the five-inch space between his ears,” Bobby Jones. Because our self-image of ourselves runs everything in our life, including our golf game. It’s up to Charles for him to believe in himself. That’s the real key. There’s a balance and harmony between mind, body, and spirit in order to be our best. We gravitate toward the picture we are painting of our self. Charles is his own worst enemy. “We have met the enemy, and he is us,” Pogo. What do you think, Charles?
Better Tomorrow
“The greatest thing about tomorrow is I will be better than I am today. I will be better as a golfer, and I will be better as a person. That’s the beauty of tomorrow. The lessons I learn today I will apply tomorrow, and I will be better. It’s a lifelong ambition to get better.”
Tiger Woods said that and he was right. Yet let us not lose sight of today. Remember to enjoy the journey that each present moment has to offer. Embrace each experience (the highs and the lows) while eagerly anticipating your next step down The Fairway of Life.
My purpose and intention is to attract all of those desiring to become a better golfer, a better human being. And in this message, you never know what might come out of this. Like myself, I invite you to embrace the same message that Dr. Wayne Dyer aspires too. “I am no better than anyone else, I am just becoming better than I used to be.”
There are 27 million golfers in the United States of America and perhaps a half billion world-wide. Most, if not all, have experienced some form of anger, frustration, fear of failing or success, and never seem to get any better. It’s a vicious cycle once it starts. This is why I do what I do. I have been there myself. I’m here to offer a new way, a new hope, a new understanding about golf and life…a new understanding that can change everything. This is my unique gift that I offer humanity – the half a billion golfers on the face of the earth. It doesn’t matter if you simply wish to have more fun, break 90, or lower your stroke average by a couple tenths – this program is for all who are drawn to hear this message.
It is my intention to ease the vicious cycle of fear and frustration that we have all allowed to run our lives. How do we do this? By telling a new story, by having a dream, by acting as if it is so for what we do desire, by reaching for better feeling thoughts, by being out of our mind, by allowing the flow of Well-Being, by connecting with who we really are, and by going with the flow – being in The Zone. It’s all of these things and even more. Stay tuned – it’s about being tuned in, turned on, and tapped in.
How does this happen? The first step is to ASK! You must ask for what it is you desire. Next, the universe will answer – always does. The third step is to align with your asking vibrationally and allow it to be. Remember: the “yeah buts” kill the whole deal.
Once you do fully commit to your hearts desire you will be shown the way…miracles unfold as Providence moves too:
· Attitude and demeanor changes
· Awareness and observation heightens
· Consciousness expands
· Understanding increases
· Confidence soars
· Fears melt away
· Shots fly on line
· Putts drop
And so shall it be. Give thanks and gratitude with each next logical step of the way!
Warmly,
“Coach” Rand
Life & Mental Golf Performance Coach
Sport & Athletic Administration, MA
Inspiring Excellence Within!
P.S. It’s not too late to sign-up to participate in our live winter
coaching sessions from the comfort of your home tele-conference style… There are audio coaching files available to get you caught up to speed if you so choose. What are you more committed too?Just click the link below and join in the fun! Isn’t it about time you get back into the game with the desire to more fully express yourself with freedom and less internal resistance!
http://randmarquardt.com/mentaledgegolfcoachingprogram.htm
The Grind & The Zone
Which comes first, the chicken or the egg? In golf I liken the analogy of which comes first, The Grind or The Zone? Which comes first…The Grind so that we can find The Zone or relief so that we can avoid the struggle? How would we know what The Zone is unless we first experienced being out of The Zone and being in a struggle? Perhaps by working through these understandings we can choose to have better control over our own self.
We tend to create this image that golf is hard and it is a grind. While it is certainly an admirable trait to grind it out versus giving up, our aim is to find relief and align ourselves with feeling good, which gives us confidence and a belief in ourselves, otherwise known as being in The Zone. Whereas, The Grind is often thought of as a buckling-down approach—whatever it takes to scrape out our best. Admirable: yet not ideal.
Many of us have a tendency to make things out to be such a struggle, such a grind; most of us end up paddling real hard against the current because we think that is how golf and life is supposed to be: a constant challenge, a hard-fought battle, a grind. Who told you so? Some people even get so good at it, that they actually embrace the grind every time out, perhaps it’s a self-defense concept they created to allow them to make sense of it all. It’s like we hear them saying, “Hey look at me! I’m struggling really hard over here.” Or, after the round, “It was a real grind out there.” Sometimes we give them a pat on the back, “That’s my chip off the old block. Keep up the good work.” However, the truth be told, in those moments of the struggle we end up taking ourselves out of The Zone once again. The grind is some sort of resistance or rationalization that is blocking the flow of Well-Being, which is where The Zone exists. What is causing you to grind it out? And I know sometimes it just feels that way. I’m inviting you to relax into this game, find some relief and learn to go with the flow. Remember golf is supposed to be fun. Many think the answer is to keep on paddling really, really hard–beating more golf balls than ever before. This kind of repetitive vicious cycle keeps repeating itself over and over again. Like Einstein reminds us about the definition of insanity. You can’t solve a problem with the same energy that created it.
I hear you when thinking about how Tiger often talks about how much of a grind it was “out there.” I’m not saying this feeling doesn’t exist. I’m just saying we all can do a little bit better than we used too…even Tiger. And when we do a little bit better than we used too – we end up playing a little better. The spiral moves upward versus the other way around. The better it gets…the better it gets.
Tiger’s grind on the other hand may be slightly different from the rest of us mere mortals, wouldn’t you say? He misses three or four fairways or the pin by 25 feet on a couple occasions and he’s missed the shot. We end up in the blackberry bushes or tall weeds 30 yards from the green. His desires and expectations are a tad higher. Plus, he aligns his vibrational energy to match what he intends and expects. He executes and performs to what he visualizes more often than not. In other words, Tigers allows his intention to be. He’s in alignment with his asking. That’s what makes Tiger tick. What a mindset and focus. Imagine Tiger’s view of the field and that narrow window or rectangle of where he intends to play the shot giving his best effort in this moment on this particular shot or putt. Go be something similar to this mindset yourself. Begin visualizing and narrowing your field. The shot produces the swing, not the other way around. With a mindset like Tiger’s we too can become better tomorrow than we are today.
What you don’t hear is how often Tiger is actually clicking along and playing pretty well. He does play in the now. However, his mindset is always wanting to be better tomorrow than today. That’s his inspiration and motivation. Tiger appears to be never satisfied; yet he is still the greatest ever. He’s hungry and he’s humble. I’d be surprised if he isn’t absolutely ecstatic on the inside for everything he has accomplished and absolutely thrilled with how he plays when he’s on. What I see is that he doesn’t want to lose his edge. He just doesn’t want to be or get complacent. He’s on a mission. It’s called 19 majors – then perhaps more. To be the world’s best means you hold the most majors on your mantle.
Tiger really does play pretty damn good golf after it is all said and done; wouldn’t you say? When Tiger is on – which is often – he is pointing his kayak downstream and going with the flow. It’s just that simple. He’s in alignment with his Source and desire to be his absolute best…world’s best. What more is there? Tiger has set the bar and keeps breaking it. Tiger keeps imprinting even more of a champion’s self-image upon the inner workings of his subconscious mind…and so can you and I.
Wouldn’t it be easier to point your kayak in the direction of the current and simply go with the flow of the stream? Wouldn’t it be easier to allow yourself the freedom to build the sandcastle, skip the stone, or swing the club with your natural most inspired state of being and simply go with the flow? Wouldn’t it be easier to play like you practice, like no one is watching, or execute like it was your practice swing: effortless and less arduous? Wouldn’t it be easier to make your first putt more often than when you drop a second ball in its place? Second putts made. Wouldn’t it be easier if you really knew what you are doing when you are practicing and you were practicing mentally in The Zone? The Flow is The Zone. The Zone is always present. There is only The Zone, a source of Well-Being—which you are either allowing, or not. Everything else is resistance or a block or an obstacle to The Zone that is always flowing.
It’s really pretty simple; remove the resistance, block, or obstacle and allow the Well-Being in. Your Well-Being is The Zone. The Zone is always present. The Zone is going with the flow.
The best analogy I could give you is watching young children play. They’re in The Zone practically all the time. They don’t know any better or any different, they haven’t been socialized or conditioned to our cultural story yet. There is no fear of failure or fear of success they are just being themselves. They’re not being judged or think they are being judged. They don’t think about results, they just do it.
Coaches Notes: A deeper lesson in this whole process is how we encourage, support, and guide another. While our intentions may mean well there is a fine line between critiquing and judging performance and giving advice versus offering positive feedback and offering support and guidance. Asking what questions at the “right” time allows the student to reflect and perhaps make the changes themselves. Invite the student to ask the questions themselves. Invite the student to explore the understanding that the answer and wisdom lies within them. Pointing out body positions through a camera film perhaps allows the student to see potential opportunity for growth.
Another analogy of being in The Zone is when Tiger is throwing darts and sinking putts. Tiger focuses on the moment putting forth his very best effort on this drive, on this swing, and on this putt – and he’s not concerned about his result or outcome until after it happens, which in Tiger’s case most often is a great result. He’s tuned in, turned on, tapped in – he’s locked in on this very moment. Plus he’s like a kid having fun. Where did Tiger get his mental toughness? Was it from Mom and Pop, or within? Is it nurture or nature? Perhaps it’s a little bit of both exposures; whatever he allows to filter into his subconscious mind.
Divine Feelings in 2009 - Part II
We play out best in life and golf when we are being our most inspired state of being, whatever that is for each of us. What are those feelings of being that most resonate with you when you are being your best? Are you being clear, wise, connected, knowing? Or are you being happy, peaceful, following your bliss? Are you feeling exhilaration, eager anticipation, or calmness in the moment like a simple stroll in the park? Whatever your most inspired state of being and how you feel when you are being your best is what I am asking you to reach for. The more we train ourselves into being this first, the easier it will be to have what we desire, and do what we wanted all along - play our best golf! I’m simply inviting you to go straight into being that. Here’s a few mental tips to practice in your daily routine. Take a few minutes each day to practice feeling the divine feelings that make you feel good.
Now in the stillness of your soul or meditation or prayer of your mind, body, and spirit feel the feelings and real involve all your senses to anchor (or remind) you to what your soul is really after. That’s all I’m really doing reminding you to what you already know. To better serve you and anchor these feelings simply follow these 8 steps or make up your own:
1. Call forth the sights or images that align with your feelings. It could be your dream, your meditation, your prayer, a calm lake, a gentle flowing stream, or recalling those special moments when you were playing your best golf. Simply allow yourself to see the images you have called forth to anchor that divine feeling you wish to experience.
2. Call forth the feelings that align with your most inspired state of being. Am I feeling appreciation, gratitude, humility, peace, harmony, joy, love, and Well-Being flow through my body? Am I feeling empowered, on fire, freedom to express, and a feeling of just knowing? Am I being clear, wise, connected, or happy? Am I being who I really am? Am I going with the flow? Personally, I have a humble, yet inspired feeling that when I’m playing my best golf I feel I am on top of the world, and I am most grateful to Source Energy in experiencing that. I thank God for allowing this wonderful state of being to flow to me and through me.
3. Call forth the sounds or vibrations that most resonate with that feeling. It could be church bells, birds chirping, or a favorite song on your mp3 player, a well-struck golf ball, or communication with Source Energy. Example: When I’m in The Zone I hear the Bruce Springsteen song lyrics, “…whoa oh oh I’m on fire.” Then I go on with other thoughts about life or nature until it is time to hit another golf shot. I’m resonating in the now feeling good. Identify what vibration that would smell like? Pure, natural, pine trees, cedar, chocolate, fresh cut crass, or magic in the air? Tiger Woods and his caddie, Stevie pay attention to all of these senses between golf shots even the smell of a hot dog from the gallery. It helps to ground us in the present moment. What are the colors that you most associate with? Are they green like nature, or blue like the sky, or white like the fallen snow, or red like the pureness of heart?
4. Next, find a sentence or two that will affirm these feelings. Find, a phrase or an expression of your highest Self. “I am an extension of Source Energy and Well-Being flows to me and through me.” It could be your mantra or prayer. It could come from an inspirational quote, song, or from a poem. “I’m on fire.” Pick one or two of these phrases that most align with the agenda of your soul as you “Follow your bliss,” by Joseph Campbell. Pick a word that will describe these feelings, like “Serenity,” “Peaceful,” or “Joy.”
5. As you visualize upon these feelings and your ideal state of being allow the wisdom within you to take action as you gravite towards the picture you paint in your dreams. Now that you can see and feel and be what your end result or dream may look like simply take action, and as Socrates used to say, “Be as you wish to seem.” Take action that will support your journey along your true path and simply act as if it is so. Simply behave as if you already have this. No worries because once you make the commitment to be this, the hows will present themselves in a most enlightening and awe-inspiring way. God works in mystery ways my friends and very often you will be presented with this understanding in ways beyond your wildest imagination. Ask and it is given. Now be aware and align yourself with your asking and soon you will be living this manifestation, this life of your dreams. Be as you wish to seem and act as if it so. Let Go and let God. Go ahead and take action and ground yourself with these new thoughts, which form our behavior that will ultimately get deposited into the treasury of your subconscious mind – that runs everything in your life including your golf game. The thoughts, words, and action forming your new behavior will come in many forms, just as does God. You cannot miss them once you listen. Your job is to be who you really are, follow your bliss and be as you wish to seem. Be the feelings of the divine expression of who you really are and then you will do, act, and behave from that state which will produce your having what you wanted all along. You simply sync up with how life really works.
6. Remember The Magic Formula: End Result (your dream, your intention) plus Action (just take the next logical step) equals The Hows (divine inspiration) plus Manifestation (living your dream). You live the life of your dreams.
7. Journal, create a vision board, post notes, anchor yourself with your newfound desire, and take action. Keep on asking yourself, will this make me a better me?
8. Now, go to sleep with this new intention and really involve all your senses and feelings. Spend 5-10 minutes visualizing and giving thanks. Wake up in the morning feeling good. Spend another 5-10 minutes visualizing and giving thanks. Show up big with everyone in your life and embrace the uggs, and the highs and lows along The Fairway of Life. It’s all a “perfect plan” unfolding right in front of your eyes. Spend 15-20 minutes meditating or being still every day away from all the normal noise of the world and things to do. Very soon you won’t have to worry about your New Years Resolutions because you’ll be living your dream and becoming everything you desired all along. It all comes full circle. “Be as you wish to seem,” Socrates.
Warmly,
Coach
Be Intent – Be As You Wish To Seem
The law of attraction states that which is likened unto it self is drawn. Thoughts create things and thoughts create swings. We become what we think. Intentions are a form of focused thought, similar to a goal, a desire from within, or having a dream. To be intent is to set your intention upon your desire where you literally drown out any other reverberation to the contrary. My friend Melissa from New Zealand and friends have created an entire program called beintent.com focusing on inspiring and drawing out your gifts that lie within.
In the words of Socrates, this means to “be as you wish to seem.” Think about it. Simply be as you wish to seem is such a simple, yet enlightening understanding. The same goes for everything else in our life. Mahatma Gandhi declared that we must be the change we wish to see in the world. To be as you wish to seem comes from a calling deep within your soul…it is your hearts desire and this desire if strong enough will over-ride any other vibration or belief you may have – and most of us carry with us a limited belief system based upon following the ways of the world. Most of us have given up on our dreams and neglected this key inspiration that springs forth from our desire. The real key or secret is to break free from this limited based thinking, get back on your true path, listen to the whisper of your soul, and be your hearts desires – as you wish to seem and act as if it was so.
When we are being as we wish to seem we gravitate toward the picture we are painting in our minds eye. This is what Tiger Woods dreamt about long before he eventually became the world’s #1 golfer. Be as you wish to seem and act as if it is so. Then one day you wake up living your dream. And whenever you are not being as you wish to seem, stop, catch yourself, find relief, and reach for the best feeling thought you can. Tiger refuses to give in to any fear either real or imagined that is out of alignment with his thinking of who he choses to be and become. Tiger knows there is only Well-Being flowing to him and through him. He’s free to fully express himself to his full potential. Isn’t that what we all want - freedom to fully express ourselves to our full potential. You tell me what you want and I’ll show you how to get it! The answer: One by one we let go of all the resistances, obstacles, or illusions we’ve allowed to run our subconscious mind. “Removing the clouds does not cause the sun to shine, but merely reveals that which was hidden all along,” Dr. David R. Hawkins. You see The Zone is like the sun, always flowing.
What kind of golfer do you desire to be? What kind of a person do you desire to be? Go straight into being that. Neale Donald Walsch talks about this be, do, have principle in his Conversations with God books and international speaking engagements. The Be-Do-Have Paradigm is another universal and spiritual law of creation. Most people get it backwards; they think that when they finally have this, then they will be able to do that, and then they can be this. In his book, Conversations with God, Book 3, Neale Donald Walsch discusses this principle with greater clarity. And you can substitute your own descriptions as they relate to your life on and off the golf course. I use Neale’s template and add golf specific examples to it. I find this very interesting as all of life operates the same way.
Most people believe if they have a thing (more time, more money, more love, a better golf game), then they can finally do a thing (write a book, go on vacation, buy a home, take up a hobby, undertake a relationship, really play better golf), which will allow them to be a thing (happy, peaceful, content, in love, or a calm, confident golfer).
In actuality, they are reversing the Be-Do-Have Paradigm. In the universe as it really is (as opposed to how you think it is), “havingness” does not produce “beingness,” but the other way around. First you “be” a thing called “happy” (or “knowing,” or “wise,” or “compassionate,” “calm,” “clear,” or whatever), then you start “doing” things from this place of beingness—and soon you discover that what you are doing winds up bringing you the things you’ve always wanted to “have.”
The way to set this creative process (and that’s what this is . . . the process of creation) into motion is to look at what it is you want to “have,” ask yourself what you think you would “be” if you “had” that, then go right straight to being. In this way you reverse the way you’ve been using the Be-Do-Have Paradigm—in actuality, set it right—and work with, rather than against, the creative power of the universe. Here is the short way of stating this principle: In life, you do not have to do anything. It is all a question of what you are being.
As in golf, so in life it is a matter of what you are being. Your state of beingness sets the stage for what you are doing, what you will have, and for how you will play. Your state of being (focused, clear, creative, artistic, poetic, confident, relaxed, calm, present, machine-like) produces your doing (your takeaway, back swing, rhythm, tempo, lag, whip, strike, follow through) which allows you to have (scoring, enjoyment, fun, prize money). It is the order of life’s paradigm that matters. You are a human being first. So stop trying to find the right and perfect thing to do and start creating the right and perfect thing to be. Be your most inspired state of being on the golf course and allow yourself to do it. Then you will be having fun and the results, scoring, or prize money will take care of itself.
Be as you wish to seem, be your hearts desire, and listen to your feelings, which is the language of your soul. You are brilliant and magnificent, worthy and loved, and if you do not know that, then that’s the problem and it’s high time you get back in the game focusing on the solution. You can be, do, or have whatever your heart desires.
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