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New Release
The Fairway Of Life
Simple Secrets To Playing Better Golf By Going With The Flow ~
Rand Scott Marquardt
Life & Mental Golf Performance Coach 
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Unedited expression from Jack Zlotow
I’ve been able to incorporate into my golf thought process a couple of the principles in Rand’s book “The Fairway of Life.” I’m not playing a lot of golf this year. In fact, I’ve been on the course a total of six times. So - using his techniques in an effort to lower my handicap by a few strokes in one year wasn’t in the cards for me. I don’t know anybody who could pull that feat off by playing, on average, once a month or so. There are a couple of principles I’ve taken to heart that have increased my enjoyment of the game - and probably caused my golfing partners to enjoy playing with me more than they otherwise would have.
Let me back up a little. I’ve had a volcanic temper on the golf course since at least high school, when Rand and I would regularly play together - and regularly witness each other coughing up some titanic tantrums. I’d not only throw clubs - if I really lost it, I was famous for throwing my whole golf bag, clubs, balls, tees all flying. My playing partners were either disgusted by my behavior, or they’d try to stifle laughing at me behind my back. God help them if I actually saw them laughing at me . . .
That type of behavior on the course, unfortunately, stayed with me well into my adult life, finally moderating somewhat in the last couple of years. But - I’ve still had those moments that made me feel quite silly after I calmed down - if I calmed down - and made my playing partners uneasy being around me.
I finished reading “The Fairway of Life” early this summer. Shortly thereafter, I had occasion to play golf with three old friends I graduated high school with. Two of the three don’t play a lot of golf and aren’t accomplished golfers, but they’re a lot of fun to play with. The other plays a game close to mine, though I’ve played a lot more golf than him over the years and should beat head to head seven out of 10 times. The old Jack Zlotow would’ve been all keyed up on the first hole, intent on showing all three that I can still play like “the old days,” even though that was my third time on the course in 2010. I would’ve wound up, tried to smack it hard, and probably snap hooked it 160 or so yards - and maybe out of bounds. The day would likely have slid downhill from there. But this time something was different. On the way to the course, I was thinking over and over about one of Rand’s core principles -”Golf is Supposed to be Fun!” Here I was, on a picture perfect day, playing with three guys I’ve known for more than 35 years, and there was no way I was going to ruin it by trying to impress them that I could still play like I did in my 20s and 30s when I was playing four, five times a week. My plan was simple - I was going to enjoy the day, no matter how I played. “Golf is Supposed to be Fun.” And I enjoyed the round immensely, even though I shot 91, which is 10 - 15 shots worse than the scores I shot on that same course when I played it often and was at the top of my game.
The other principle I’ve embraced, and certainly embraced that day, is accepting the shot - great shots, good shots, lousy shots. It takes a while to learn to embrace bad golf shots, but you can do it. You let your mind wander a little, you’re not focused on the present, and you bungle a shot - skull it out of the bunker, push it 30 yards right of target. I certainly make those kind of shots, but instead of steaming on my way to the ball to make the next shot, I accept the result and do my best to recover. I’ve been able to calm myself down, and it’s helped me stay in the moment. It’s helped me stay on track and not ruin my whole round because I’ve made one or two bad shots.
Maybe next year I’ll be in position to play a lot of golf again, and if I am, I’ll apply Rand’s principles in a different fashion. For this year, these principles have allowed me to enjoy the game and keep from being uptight, and that’s more than enough for me.
I’m out protecting a score
Once you make the commitment to play better golf I guarantee you everything within you will rise to the top – both your brilliance and your demons.
I recently had this conversation with my fellow golfing partner Chris Shepler who is a big fan of The Fairway of Life. He recently played in a “big” tournament – The Northern Michigan Open at Cheboygan CC. Sheppy opened with a 75, one of his best tournament rounds of his career. He wanted to let me know of all the “big time” players in the field, including Golf Professional Brian O’Neill who also opened with a first round 75, and closed with a 71.
Needless to say in round two Chris shot an 85. He tells me, “I completely lost my focus to having fun. I was out there protecting a score and I couldn’t get my mind to hit the ball harder while putting. (Classic deceleration when you are nervous). I was tentative and forgot all about having fun. I let the event to become bigger than it is. I was proud of my 75 in competitive golf and I was out there trying to protect a score. My mind went from here to there; from present – to - I gotta have it. I noticed it, but did not work to get myself back there…I stayed there (meaning I stayed in the abyss of the grind, getting ahead of myself, and not having fun). I also noticed extra frustration building whenever my drives would end up a shorter distance, which meant I would have to hit a longer iron to the green than the day before. I let this irritation translate into ‘it’s going to be tougher to make par versus just playing the shot.’ I know now after the fact that it doesn’t matter what club I am hitting (a five iron or a four iron) - it’s all the same. I did have a good confident thought process early in my second round then when things got away all I could think was I gotta have it. I gotta have a par. And if I don’t have it then I’m screwed (I won’t break 80). And I never made a putt on the second day. I couldn’t figure it out during my round until I got to the 18th tee box, and I finally got up and down because it didn’t matter anymore. Finally, I got up and down. I saw it and I did it.”
I asked Chris, what else happened? He said, “It all boils down to that demon, that devil protecting a score…I gotta have it. Instead of enjoying, I got to have it. I can’t go 3 over right now. Instead of acknowledging the day, I was concerned about my score. The next thing ya know I three-putted for bogey, then at that point I got livid and impatient. I needed it to stay under 80 and have a chance. How stupid is that.” Coach Marquardt, “Then what happened?” Chris, “I couldn’t let it go and went double bogey, double bogey. Then I finally got my s**t together talking to myself on hole #10 and birdied it. Then I pulled hooked a 2-wood on #11 and noticed I cracked the face of my club and went on a bogey train.”
Coach Marquardt, “So Chris, what do you take from this, what did you learn?” Chris, “I learned that I need to focus on being more patient (I’ve never shot a 75 in a golf tournament before) – the more times I’m in this position the better I will become at these situations. It was all a learning experience and I’m okay with it.”
Take from Chris Shepler’s experience on the golf course, as you will. We are all evolving as golfers and human beings to become our very best. I invite you to remember that golf is a great game and it’s all about the enjoying; the scoring will take care of it self. It’s just another round of golf, one stroke at a time. Stay present – play golf in the now. Visualize, visualize, visualize. See it. Also, having to have something in the future takes you out of your present. Wanting something so badly pushes it away. On a side note, I think that’s what happened to Nick Watney in the PGA – he thought about wanting it so badly. I know he believes in having fun. I remind you all – just let it happen. By the way, nothing wrong with a little nervous anxiety, just never let the event to become bigger than it really is. It’s a game of golf. Have fun. Golf is supposed to be fun – and when you get that you can drop the “supposed to” – golf is fun! Remember that – most won’t and they’ll keep repeating the same self-sabotaging behaviors over and over again, until they don’t.
Thanks Chris – next time we’ll here from golf lover Jack Zlotow and what he has taken to the course from The Fairway of Life. Please send any stories you would like to share with the readers. What I find is that others line up right behind the one who steps out and expresses their truth – and we all benefit.
Camilo Villegas wins Honda Classic
Camilo Villegas wins the Honda Classic with a new attitude!
Having worked with sports psychologist Gio Valiante, Camilo is poised to make a run on the PGA Tour. His new attitude is “attitude of gratitude” and to have fun playing golf. Gio suggested Camilo take stock of where he is and just have fun and appreciate. Imagine that! It all comes full circle back to having fun, appreciating, and enjoying the journey. Even golfing great Johnny Miller chimed in, “Appreciate, what a great way of making a living” as Camilo tied a five stroke win with another golfing great, Jack Nicklaus.
Golf is “supposed” to be fun. The “supposed” to be is just a reminder. Professionals are even putting smiley faces on their golf balls as reminders. Isn’t it funny how this fun thing comes full circle. Golf is fun! Too many of us end up taking this golf too damn serious. Hence, frustation sets in. You can’t play your best golf being all pissed off. Lighten up folks and have fun. Guess what, you’ll end up playing better golf simply by appreciating, having fun, and by following your bliss with outrageous joy! Too easy you say? Nah, instead of strugglin’ and trying too hard - just go with the flow ~. The joy is in the journey!
The Grind & The Zone
Which comes first, the chicken or the egg? In golf I liken the analogy of which comes first, The Grind or The Zone? Which comes first…The Grind so that we can find The Zone or relief so that we can avoid the struggle? How would we know what The Zone is unless we first experienced being out of The Zone and being in a struggle? Perhaps by working through these understandings we can choose to have better control over our own self.
We tend to create this image that golf is hard and it is a grind. While it is certainly an admirable trait to grind it out versus giving up, our aim is to find relief and align ourselves with feeling good, which gives us confidence and a belief in ourselves, otherwise known as being in The Zone. Whereas, The Grind is often thought of as a buckling-down approach—whatever it takes to scrape out our best. Admirable: yet not ideal.
Many of us have a tendency to make things out to be such a struggle, such a grind; most of us end up paddling real hard against the current because we think that is how golf and life is supposed to be: a constant challenge, a hard-fought battle, a grind. Who told you so? Some people even get so good at it, that they actually embrace the grind every time out, perhaps it’s a self-defense concept they created to allow them to make sense of it all. It’s like we hear them saying, “Hey look at me! I’m struggling really hard over here.” Or, after the round, “It was a real grind out there.” Sometimes we give them a pat on the back, “That’s my chip off the old block. Keep up the good work.” However, the truth be told, in those moments of the struggle we end up taking ourselves out of The Zone once again. The grind is some sort of resistance or rationalization that is blocking the flow of Well-Being, which is where The Zone exists. What is causing you to grind it out? And I know sometimes it just feels that way. I’m inviting you to relax into this game, find some relief and learn to go with the flow. Remember golf is supposed to be fun. Many think the answer is to keep on paddling really, really hard–beating more golf balls than ever before. This kind of repetitive vicious cycle keeps repeating itself over and over again. Like Einstein reminds us about the definition of insanity. You can’t solve a problem with the same energy that created it.
I hear you when thinking about how Tiger often talks about how much of a grind it was “out there.” I’m not saying this feeling doesn’t exist. I’m just saying we all can do a little bit better than we used too…even Tiger. And when we do a little bit better than we used too – we end up playing a little better. The spiral moves upward versus the other way around. The better it gets…the better it gets.
Tiger’s grind on the other hand may be slightly different from the rest of us mere mortals, wouldn’t you say? He misses three or four fairways or the pin by 25 feet on a couple occasions and he’s missed the shot. We end up in the blackberry bushes or tall weeds 30 yards from the green. His desires and expectations are a tad higher. Plus, he aligns his vibrational energy to match what he intends and expects. He executes and performs to what he visualizes more often than not. In other words, Tigers allows his intention to be. He’s in alignment with his asking. That’s what makes Tiger tick. What a mindset and focus. Imagine Tiger’s view of the field and that narrow window or rectangle of where he intends to play the shot giving his best effort in this moment on this particular shot or putt. Go be something similar to this mindset yourself. Begin visualizing and narrowing your field. The shot produces the swing, not the other way around. With a mindset like Tiger’s we too can become better tomorrow than we are today.
What you don’t hear is how often Tiger is actually clicking along and playing pretty well. He does play in the now. However, his mindset is always wanting to be better tomorrow than today. That’s his inspiration and motivation. Tiger appears to be never satisfied; yet he is still the greatest ever. He’s hungry and he’s humble. I’d be surprised if he isn’t absolutely ecstatic on the inside for everything he has accomplished and absolutely thrilled with how he plays when he’s on. What I see is that he doesn’t want to lose his edge. He just doesn’t want to be or get complacent. He’s on a mission. It’s called 19 majors – then perhaps more. To be the world’s best means you hold the most majors on your mantle.
Tiger really does play pretty damn good golf after it is all said and done; wouldn’t you say? When Tiger is on – which is often – he is pointing his kayak downstream and going with the flow. It’s just that simple. He’s in alignment with his Source and desire to be his absolute best…world’s best. What more is there? Tiger has set the bar and keeps breaking it. Tiger keeps imprinting even more of a champion’s self-image upon the inner workings of his subconscious mind…and so can you and I.
Wouldn’t it be easier to point your kayak in the direction of the current and simply go with the flow of the stream? Wouldn’t it be easier to allow yourself the freedom to build the sandcastle, skip the stone, or swing the club with your natural most inspired state of being and simply go with the flow? Wouldn’t it be easier to play like you practice, like no one is watching, or execute like it was your practice swing: effortless and less arduous? Wouldn’t it be easier to make your first putt more often than when you drop a second ball in its place? Second putts made. Wouldn’t it be easier if you really knew what you are doing when you are practicing and you were practicing mentally in The Zone? The Flow is The Zone. The Zone is always present. There is only The Zone, a source of Well-Being—which you are either allowing, or not. Everything else is resistance or a block or an obstacle to The Zone that is always flowing.
It’s really pretty simple; remove the resistance, block, or obstacle and allow the Well-Being in. Your Well-Being is The Zone. The Zone is always present. The Zone is going with the flow.
The best analogy I could give you is watching young children play. They’re in The Zone practically all the time. They don’t know any better or any different, they haven’t been socialized or conditioned to our cultural story yet. There is no fear of failure or fear of success they are just being themselves. They’re not being judged or think they are being judged. They don’t think about results, they just do it.
Coaches Notes: A deeper lesson in this whole process is how we encourage, support, and guide another. While our intentions may mean well there is a fine line between critiquing and judging performance and giving advice versus offering positive feedback and offering support and guidance. Asking what questions at the “right” time allows the student to reflect and perhaps make the changes themselves. Invite the student to ask the questions themselves. Invite the student to explore the understanding that the answer and wisdom lies within them. Pointing out body positions through a camera film perhaps allows the student to see potential opportunity for growth.
Another analogy of being in The Zone is when Tiger is throwing darts and sinking putts. Tiger focuses on the moment putting forth his very best effort on this drive, on this swing, and on this putt – and he’s not concerned about his result or outcome until after it happens, which in Tiger’s case most often is a great result. He’s tuned in, turned on, tapped in – he’s locked in on this very moment. Plus he’s like a kid having fun. Where did Tiger get his mental toughness? Was it from Mom and Pop, or within? Is it nurture or nature? Perhaps it’s a little bit of both exposures; whatever he allows to filter into his subconscious mind.
There is such a thing as trying too hard
“Lighten up Rand you’re taking this way too serious,” Neale Donald Walsch.
It’s true I was taking my spirituality way too seriously. You know what, I’ve been taking my life way too seriously too. Come to think about it, I’ve been taking my golf way too serious as well. Too much uptight overly intense emotion or mood on the golf course is basically an expression of fear. It keeps us tight, free from expressing our full artistic potential. It also takes further away from The Zone. We’ve projected ourselves into the future (thinking and worrying about outcome) and out of the present moment, where focus and excellence abounds. One of the characteristics of being in The Zone is being present right here and right now.
This phenomenon known as being in the present moment, staying loose, free to fully express oneself, giving ones best effort in the here and now is exactly what Captain Paul Azinger was able to pull off with his players at the Ryder Cup. It certainly didn’t hurt having a Boo Weekly around telling of his orangutan story or galloping down the first fairway like Happy Gilmore. The team stayed present and focused and away from being too overly intense, a trying too hard to make it happen versus relaxing, having fun, and allowing it to happen. Did I mention that Captain Azinger also hired Ron Braund, a life coach to guide the way and support this intention?
Think about it. When do you play your best golf? When you are trying too hard, pressing to make it happen or when you are enjoying the moment and allowing it to happen? Are you taken it too serious or are you having fun? Too often I find myself getting all uptight and tense over what?
I invite you to find a new thought that will lighten you up. Reach for a better feeling thought. ‘Hey, I’m with my friends it’s a beautiful day. This isn’t life or death out there. My wife is still going to kiss me when I come home. Might as well relax into this…after all, golf is supposed to be fun.’ The moment you shed that weight will be the moment you begin playing well again. Why not start sooner! Just be who you really are. Embrace the highs and lows along the fairway of life for this too shall come to pass.
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