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New Release
The Fairway Of Life
Simple Secrets To Playing Better Golf By Going With The Flow ~
Rand Scott Marquardt
Life & Mental Golf Performance Coach 
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The Serenity Prayer – “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference,” Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr.
First, you must understand which of these three life principles fit your situation. You must ask yourself with sincere honesty if you have control over the only corner of the universe you can control – yourself. If you can change, then welcome courage into your life. It takes courage to step outside the confines of your own self-induced comfort zone. Yes, growth can be and usually is messy. With ease and grace you can move through what at times may seem like the valley of death or the roar of the lion.
The simplest and most direct method to change is acknowledged and felt within the concept of the Nike slogan…Just Do It! It is called having heart and desire; a one-minded focus and a definiteness of purpose; having a dream, and keeping on! Others would say never give up. I prefer keeping on keeping on. Always reminding your self to keep on.
Sometimes your dream may feel like a million miles away just a day or two before it actually manifests. Very often you are less than 3 feet from gold. Keep digging…keep on moving forward. Keeping on in the direction of your hearts desire is what really makes our heart sing. Just remember who you really are – a brilliant and magnificent human being…a spiritual being living a physical existence…a leading edge extension of Source Energy. It’s about feeling worthy, because you are born worthy. It’s about feeling deserving, because you are born deserving. It’s about being born of pure love and pure joy, because you are pure love and pure joy.
Love is all there is. I’m just reminding you until you remember. It’s our dance-with-life to be in vibrational harmony with this understanding…believing in our selves, loving our selves, allowing the Well-Being in, feeling outrageous joy, and knowing it! Jack Nicklaus and other great champions knew in their minds they would hit a great shot before they actually did it. You can too! It’s called being in The Zone – pure positive energy going with the flow ~. Our work therefore is to keep on reaching for more of these good feeling thoughts – the best feeling thoughts we can at this moment in time. Allow the spiral to move us upward ever enhancing more and more of the good stuff that life is serving up. Pretty soon we end resonating in these good feeling spaces more often than not. And when we’re a tad off we can embrace it that much better than before.
If by chance you’re feeling stuck, confused, upset, angry, disconnected, out of alignment, frustration and if by chance you’re “…repeating the same behaviors over and over again expecting different results,” Einstein’s definition of insanity, then you’ve got to change the way you think. Thinking about always choking, always getting nervous over an “important” putt, that you’re never going to get any better, that the demons or golf gods are getting the best of you, that you’re not that good, not that worthy, not that deserving, that you can’t, that you’re embarrassed or worried about looking good or pleasing others, that you’re playing against another opponent will only keep on drawing more of those experiences into your game. You cannot deactivate a negative belief in order to get better…it only draws more of the same experience into your life. Sure once you make the commitment to be something new there will appear to be obstacles or set backs or ridicule that lie in the way. These are all illusions. And you can find a way to move around them, over them, or through them. For the truth of the matter is, you can be, do, or have whatever your heart desires. And if you don’t know that, then that’s the problem.
In all of these incidences above where you find yourself struggling you are quite literally paddling against the current. You’re resisting the natural flow. The first place to begin is to stop paddling so hard, stop trying so hard to figure this out…find some relief. Here’s the deal: you’ve got to find a way to feel good without having “that” condition change. Your dream will arrive that much quicker if you can first be happy without it. Because just the thought of not having it is a form of limited belief, which keeps you stuck in a lack mentality. So, what do I do if I have thought some of these kinds of thoughts that have not been in my best interest?
· I’m afraid
· I’m worried
· I judge myself too harshly
· I beat myself up
· I get mad at myself too often
· I choke
· I suck
· I have negative thoughts that get the best of me
· I think I can’t
· I’m scared
· I don’t want to hold another back…by looking for my lost ball all the time
· I get the yips
· I get ahead of myself
· I lose focus
· I’m trying
· I hold on to past failures
· I get result oriented
· Sometimes I’m just not having any fun
· I’m supposed to be better
· I don’t want to embarrass myself
· I’m not worthy, not deserving
· I want to win so badly that I’m feeling the lack of winning
· Yeah but, if only, it’s someone else’s fault, it’s a bad lie, etc., etc., etc.
· Poor me
So, these are the kinds of thoughts that are currently out of wack with our desire that are holding us back from living the life of our dreams.
Let’s acknowledge the fact, that we’ve thought some thoughts are hindering us. And some of the things we have allowed to be part of our experience are not easy to change; otherwise we would have done so by now. We’re kind of lost and we’re asking for some kind of relief, some kind of help, some kind of guidance and understanding into the mystery of life on and off the golf course. We’re looking for some kind of courage to change the things we can. Ask.
You’ve asked and now it is given. It’s time to take that leap of faith and just do it! You’ve got your dream; now take some action. The how’s will begin to present them selves through your commitment. You will be shown the way through providence or divine inspiration. It is as simple and as complex as that!
Understand this – the way you are feeling before the golf shot is an exact match to what you will get. If you keep thinking what you’ve always thought, then you will always get what you’ve always gotten. Hmmm…change the way you think and feel and you will change what you will get…brilliant deduction Einstein.
What’s the solution? You’ve got to start training your subconscious mind to think like a champion.
You’ve got to start activating more beneficial beliefs. You’ve got to give more “airtime” upon what you want. You’ve got to point yourself into the direction of your desires, or what you prefer. In the moment you understand that I’m not there yet, but I’m at least pointed toward it. In other words, I am where I am. This is the literal and vibrational understanding of what it means to be at peace with your self – both on and off the golf course.
Pretty soon old beliefs will fade away so far, so fast that you have a hard time even remembering what it was like before. Pretty soon you’ll end up creating the life of your dreams. Our purpose in life is to create our purpose. It’s why we have a vision, desire, dreams, intuition, intention, and visualization. It’s the quickest way to get from where we are to where we want to be next. The same works for each golf shot as well. Paint the picture and gravitate towards it.
The Grind & The Zone
Which comes first, the chicken or the egg? In golf I liken the analogy of which comes first, The Grind or The Zone? Which comes first…The Grind so that we can find The Zone or relief so that we can avoid the struggle? How would we know what The Zone is unless we first experienced being out of The Zone and being in a struggle? Perhaps by working through these understandings we can choose to have better control over our own self.
We tend to create this image that golf is hard and it is a grind. While it is certainly an admirable trait to grind it out versus giving up, our aim is to find relief and align ourselves with feeling good, which gives us confidence and a belief in ourselves, otherwise known as being in The Zone. Whereas, The Grind is often thought of as a buckling-down approach—whatever it takes to scrape out our best. Admirable: yet not ideal.
Many of us have a tendency to make things out to be such a struggle, such a grind; most of us end up paddling real hard against the current because we think that is how golf and life is supposed to be: a constant challenge, a hard-fought battle, a grind. Who told you so? Some people even get so good at it, that they actually embrace the grind every time out, perhaps it’s a self-defense concept they created to allow them to make sense of it all. It’s like we hear them saying, “Hey look at me! I’m struggling really hard over here.” Or, after the round, “It was a real grind out there.” Sometimes we give them a pat on the back, “That’s my chip off the old block. Keep up the good work.” However, the truth be told, in those moments of the struggle we end up taking ourselves out of The Zone once again. The grind is some sort of resistance or rationalization that is blocking the flow of Well-Being, which is where The Zone exists. What is causing you to grind it out? And I know sometimes it just feels that way. I’m inviting you to relax into this game, find some relief and learn to go with the flow. Remember golf is supposed to be fun. Many think the answer is to keep on paddling really, really hard–beating more golf balls than ever before. This kind of repetitive vicious cycle keeps repeating itself over and over again. Like Einstein reminds us about the definition of insanity. You can’t solve a problem with the same energy that created it.
I hear you when thinking about how Tiger often talks about how much of a grind it was “out there.” I’m not saying this feeling doesn’t exist. I’m just saying we all can do a little bit better than we used too…even Tiger. And when we do a little bit better than we used too – we end up playing a little better. The spiral moves upward versus the other way around. The better it gets…the better it gets.
Tiger’s grind on the other hand may be slightly different from the rest of us mere mortals, wouldn’t you say? He misses three or four fairways or the pin by 25 feet on a couple occasions and he’s missed the shot. We end up in the blackberry bushes or tall weeds 30 yards from the green. His desires and expectations are a tad higher. Plus, he aligns his vibrational energy to match what he intends and expects. He executes and performs to what he visualizes more often than not. In other words, Tigers allows his intention to be. He’s in alignment with his asking. That’s what makes Tiger tick. What a mindset and focus. Imagine Tiger’s view of the field and that narrow window or rectangle of where he intends to play the shot giving his best effort in this moment on this particular shot or putt. Go be something similar to this mindset yourself. Begin visualizing and narrowing your field. The shot produces the swing, not the other way around. With a mindset like Tiger’s we too can become better tomorrow than we are today.
What you don’t hear is how often Tiger is actually clicking along and playing pretty well. He does play in the now. However, his mindset is always wanting to be better tomorrow than today. That’s his inspiration and motivation. Tiger appears to be never satisfied; yet he is still the greatest ever. He’s hungry and he’s humble. I’d be surprised if he isn’t absolutely ecstatic on the inside for everything he has accomplished and absolutely thrilled with how he plays when he’s on. What I see is that he doesn’t want to lose his edge. He just doesn’t want to be or get complacent. He’s on a mission. It’s called 19 majors – then perhaps more. To be the world’s best means you hold the most majors on your mantle.
Tiger really does play pretty damn good golf after it is all said and done; wouldn’t you say? When Tiger is on – which is often – he is pointing his kayak downstream and going with the flow. It’s just that simple. He’s in alignment with his Source and desire to be his absolute best…world’s best. What more is there? Tiger has set the bar and keeps breaking it. Tiger keeps imprinting even more of a champion’s self-image upon the inner workings of his subconscious mind…and so can you and I.
Wouldn’t it be easier to point your kayak in the direction of the current and simply go with the flow of the stream? Wouldn’t it be easier to allow yourself the freedom to build the sandcastle, skip the stone, or swing the club with your natural most inspired state of being and simply go with the flow? Wouldn’t it be easier to play like you practice, like no one is watching, or execute like it was your practice swing: effortless and less arduous? Wouldn’t it be easier to make your first putt more often than when you drop a second ball in its place? Second putts made. Wouldn’t it be easier if you really knew what you are doing when you are practicing and you were practicing mentally in The Zone? The Flow is The Zone. The Zone is always present. There is only The Zone, a source of Well-Being—which you are either allowing, or not. Everything else is resistance or a block or an obstacle to The Zone that is always flowing.
It’s really pretty simple; remove the resistance, block, or obstacle and allow the Well-Being in. Your Well-Being is The Zone. The Zone is always present. The Zone is going with the flow.
The best analogy I could give you is watching young children play. They’re in The Zone practically all the time. They don’t know any better or any different, they haven’t been socialized or conditioned to our cultural story yet. There is no fear of failure or fear of success they are just being themselves. They’re not being judged or think they are being judged. They don’t think about results, they just do it.
Coaches Notes: A deeper lesson in this whole process is how we encourage, support, and guide another. While our intentions may mean well there is a fine line between critiquing and judging performance and giving advice versus offering positive feedback and offering support and guidance. Asking what questions at the “right” time allows the student to reflect and perhaps make the changes themselves. Invite the student to ask the questions themselves. Invite the student to explore the understanding that the answer and wisdom lies within them. Pointing out body positions through a camera film perhaps allows the student to see potential opportunity for growth.
Another analogy of being in The Zone is when Tiger is throwing darts and sinking putts. Tiger focuses on the moment putting forth his very best effort on this drive, on this swing, and on this putt – and he’s not concerned about his result or outcome until after it happens, which in Tiger’s case most often is a great result. He’s tuned in, turned on, tapped in – he’s locked in on this very moment. Plus he’s like a kid having fun. Where did Tiger get his mental toughness? Was it from Mom and Pop, or within? Is it nurture or nature? Perhaps it’s a little bit of both exposures; whatever he allows to filter into his subconscious mind.
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