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What will it take for me to become a better golfer?
You must go within to find the answer. If you do not go within, you go without. Most likely you have already heard, you have already felt it, you have already known all along what to do. It is always up to you to choose and decide…and it is always inside of you. You are the leading edge extension of Source Energy. Nobody else has the answer. Quit waiting to be ready. You are ready and you don’t have to know how.
“The answer and wisdom lies within…and you will know what to do.” I will never forget those words told to me by my coach, Jeff Malone some five years ago. How true…how profound…! Remember: wisdom is knowledge applied. Therefore, take action and the how’s will present themselves. Set an intention, stretch your comfort zone, and allow providence to move through you. You will be shown how once you make the commitment.
Empowering another is asking them what they think…it’s an internal self-reflection invitation. All great Masters teach by the clarity of their example and by inspiring the student to think, say, and do through their own thoughts, words, and actions. “When you can take the pebble from my hand, it will be time for you to go,” from the Master in Kung Fu. What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? If you find yourself saying something like… ‘I don’t know or … I’m not sure or I don’t know what to think.’ Keep answering your own question adding … ‘but if you thought you knew…what would that be…what would that look like.’ The answer & wisdom lies within. Just remember: any “yeah…but” also kills the whole deal. It is my desire for you to trust your natural instincts, your natural insights, your natural clarity and wisdom, which lies within – you being a powerful creator and master of your own domain.
Now if you seem stuck and really want clarity around this…simply take out a piece of paper and write down your question, problem, condition or quandary…journal about it. “What will it take for me to transfer the way I hit the ball on the range and take it to the course? How can I overcome my fears? How can stop throwing up all over myself? Why am I so scared? What will it take me to become a better golfer?” Sit with these kinds of questions for a moment and perhaps into the next morning…you see at night we allow our minds to settle and rejuvenate from all the hustle and bustle. When you arise simply sit down and compose a simple wisdom-filled response. Be careful in shrugging it off as some far out “woo woo” type answer that you “might think” you are making up…even though you really are. You may just surprise yourself.
If you still feeling stuck in “how to” begin…I’ve got a suggestion. Start by setting an intention to what you desire to be. For greater clarity around all of this just give me a call. No charge, no strings, no debts…just allow me to guide and support you along The Fairway of Life.
How To Change The Things I Want To Change
The Serenity Prayer – “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference,” Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr.
First, you must understand which of these three life principles fit your situation. You must ask yourself with sincere honesty if you have control over the only corner of the universe you can control – yourself. If you can change, then welcome courage into your life. It takes courage to step outside the confines of your own self-induced comfort zone. Yes, growth can be and usually is messy. With ease and grace you can move through what at times may seem like the valley of death or the roar of the lion.
The simplest and most direct method to change is acknowledged and felt within the concept of the Nike slogan…Just Do It! It is called having heart and desire; a one-minded focus and a definiteness of purpose; having a dream, and keeping on! Others would say never give up. I prefer keeping on keeping on. Always reminding your self to keep on.
Sometimes your dream may feel like a million miles away just a day or two before it actually manifests. Very often you are less than 3 feet from gold. Keep digging…keep on moving forward. Keeping on in the direction of your hearts desire is what really makes our heart sing. Just remember who you really are – a brilliant and magnificent human being…a spiritual being living a physical existence…a leading edge extension of Source Energy. It’s about feeling worthy, because you are born worthy. It’s about feeling deserving, because you are born deserving. It’s about being born of pure love and pure joy, because you are pure love and pure joy.
Love is all there is. I’m just reminding you until you remember. It’s our dance-with-life to be in vibrational harmony with this understanding…believing in our selves, loving our selves, allowing the Well-Being in, feeling outrageous joy, and knowing it! Jack Nicklaus and other great champions knew in their minds they would hit a great shot before they actually did it. You can too! It’s called being in The Zone – pure positive energy going with the flow ~. Our work therefore is to keep on reaching for more of these good feeling thoughts – the best feeling thoughts we can at this moment in time. Allow the spiral to move us upward ever enhancing more and more of the good stuff that life is serving up. Pretty soon we end resonating in these good feeling spaces more often than not. And when we’re a tad off we can embrace it that much better than before.
If by chance you’re feeling stuck, confused, upset, angry, disconnected, out of alignment, frustration and if by chance you’re “…repeating the same behaviors over and over again expecting different results,” Einstein’s definition of insanity, then you’ve got to change the way you think. Thinking about always choking, always getting nervous over an “important” putt, that you’re never going to get any better, that the demons or golf gods are getting the best of you, that you’re not that good, not that worthy, not that deserving, that you can’t, that you’re embarrassed or worried about looking good or pleasing others, that you’re playing against another opponent will only keep on drawing more of those experiences into your game. You cannot deactivate a negative belief in order to get better…it only draws more of the same experience into your life. Sure once you make the commitment to be something new there will appear to be obstacles or set backs or ridicule that lie in the way. These are all illusions. And you can find a way to move around them, over them, or through them. For the truth of the matter is, you can be, do, or have whatever your heart desires. And if you don’t know that, then that’s the problem.
In all of these incidences above where you find yourself struggling you are quite literally paddling against the current. You’re resisting the natural flow. The first place to begin is to stop paddling so hard, stop trying so hard to figure this out…find some relief. Here’s the deal: you’ve got to find a way to feel good without having “that” condition change. Your dream will arrive that much quicker if you can first be happy without it. Because just the thought of not having it is a form of limited belief, which keeps you stuck in a lack mentality. So, what do I do if I have thought some of these kinds of thoughts that have not been in my best interest?
· I’m afraid
· I’m worried
· I judge myself too harshly
· I beat myself up
· I get mad at myself too often
· I choke
· I suck
· I have negative thoughts that get the best of me
· I think I can’t
· I’m scared
· I don’t want to hold another back…by looking for my lost ball all the time
· I get the yips
· I get ahead of myself
· I lose focus
· I’m trying
· I hold on to past failures
· I get result oriented
· Sometimes I’m just not having any fun
· I’m supposed to be better
· I don’t want to embarrass myself
· I’m not worthy, not deserving
· I want to win so badly that I’m feeling the lack of winning
· Yeah but, if only, it’s someone else’s fault, it’s a bad lie, etc., etc., etc.
· Poor me
So, these are the kinds of thoughts that are currently out of wack with our desire that are holding us back from living the life of our dreams.
Let’s acknowledge the fact, that we’ve thought some thoughts are hindering us. And some of the things we have allowed to be part of our experience are not easy to change; otherwise we would have done so by now. We’re kind of lost and we’re asking for some kind of relief, some kind of help, some kind of guidance and understanding into the mystery of life on and off the golf course. We’re looking for some kind of courage to change the things we can. Ask.
You’ve asked and now it is given. It’s time to take that leap of faith and just do it! You’ve got your dream; now take some action. The how’s will begin to present them selves through your commitment. You will be shown the way through providence or divine inspiration. It is as simple and as complex as that!
Understand this – the way you are feeling before the golf shot is an exact match to what you will get. If you keep thinking what you’ve always thought, then you will always get what you’ve always gotten. Hmmm…change the way you think and feel and you will change what you will get…brilliant deduction Einstein.
What’s the solution? You’ve got to start training your subconscious mind to think like a champion.
You’ve got to start activating more beneficial beliefs. You’ve got to give more “airtime” upon what you want. You’ve got to point yourself into the direction of your desires, or what you prefer. In the moment you understand that I’m not there yet, but I’m at least pointed toward it. In other words, I am where I am. This is the literal and vibrational understanding of what it means to be at peace with your self – both on and off the golf course.
Pretty soon old beliefs will fade away so far, so fast that you have a hard time even remembering what it was like before. Pretty soon you’ll end up creating the life of your dreams. Our purpose in life is to create our purpose. It’s why we have a vision, desire, dreams, intuition, intention, and visualization. It’s the quickest way to get from where we are to where we want to be next. The same works for each golf shot as well. Paint the picture and gravitate towards it.
You Say You Want To Become a Better Golfer?
…what are you more committed too?
You say you want to become a better golfer? Have you asked to become a better golfer? You have haven’t you? Do you really, really want it? Is thinking about it kind of scary, wondering if you really could improve? How much time, effort, and energy are you putting into it? Are you visualizing on a daily basis? Are you focusing upon what you prefer? Are you working on those areas you can improve upon? Have you set an intention? Do you have a dream? What are you more committed too? In other words, what are you really doing with your time? And I’m just not talking about your work, your family, your home, etc. I’m talking about those free moments where you could be practicing more mental techniques, more putting exercises, more visualizations, more alignment with good feeling thoughts. How committed are you? Or are you just venting?
Most likely we will find that we really aren’t as committed as we thought we were. Most likely we find that we are just venting our own frustrations with our own poor me self-judgment about ourselves. Perhaps we somehow thought we could fool ourselves? Perhaps we thought if I can only understand my swing…then perhaps I would improve? Look, it’s not my job to give you advice…I’m here to inspire and remind you that the answer and wisdom, lies within you. What do you think it takes to improve, to become better, to be what you desire to be? Here’s what I think: it takes commitment 24/7 training our subconscious minds into becoming the champion we all know ourselves to be, to keep on reaching for better feeling thoughts giving our focus and energy upon what we prefer. And this work that we do to ourselves can really be an enjoyable experience…and it’s supposed to be fun. Life and golf are supposed to be fun. Now if you are happy with where you are then so be it. Just remember nothing stays the same and becoming better, becoming what you desire to be next begins just outside the confines of our own limited and self-imposed comfort zone. We’ve settled for less. Most of us have settled for mediocrity. Ouch!
Now, if you truly desire to become a better golfer…you will be shown the way. You’ve just got to make that inspired commitment…and if your goals don’t scare you, then they are not big enough. The three steps to this process are: 1) You ask, 2) Source Energy (God) / the universe answers, and 3) You align vibrationally with your asking allowing it in and expecting it to happen. Ask and it is given…expect it to be so. You act as if it is so. It’s your work to clear the doubts, the yeah buts, ifs, and I can’t. These kinds of negative programming kill the whole deal. The way we clear our negative programming is to think new thoughts that are in alignment with what we desire - giving more airtime on this…gradually the negative will begin to fade. It’s why the Dalai Lama says, “It is essential to think strongly and forcefully, I can do it,” without boasting or fretting.
The universe always hears our asking, always answers and yes God does work in mysterious ways…most often we will be shown the awareness of the opposite of what we desire to be first. Just remember that in order to understand being calm and relaxed we must first experience being tense and uptight first. In order to understand being with an acceptable and embracing mental mindset attitude we first experience being frustrated and impatient. In order to understand joy and going with the flow, we first experience anger and struggle. How do we go about this business of changing the way we see ourselves? Life is always showing us about life itself. Are you open to hearing the message knocking on your door? The best place to begin is exactly where you are right now. Surrender to this voice, this Source Energy, God within, and let go, allow it to be, just be your self and let it be. This is the moment where things begin shifting. It’s what many spiritual beings call a paradigm shift – you see life through a new lens. The moment you understand that I’m not there yet, but I am at least pointed toward it…I am where I am…is the moment you make peace with yourself and begin your new journey of living the life of your dreams.
The formula is to first have a dream, then you take action, next you will be shown how, then you’re on your way to living the life of your dreams…from ambition and desire to meaning and manifestation. It all starts with your surrendering to your God Source within and in your commitment to playing full out. It’s really about allowing the Well-Being in, being connected, and going with the flow instead of resisting, being out of alignment, and paddling against the current. All emotion is about where you are standing in the stream of life. You are either allowing the Well-Being in or you are resisting it. It’s as simple and as complex as that!
What this takes is an awakening, an appreciation and a connection with your higher (authentic) Self. Connecting with your higher Self is what all champion’s eventually come to grips with. It’s about becoming who you really are. It’s about connecting with this incredible being that your soul already knows itself to be. It’s about getting yourself up to speed with who you are now becoming. Golf and life takes on a whole new perspective and paradigm shift once we awaken and connect more fully to this incredible power within. What is your soul after? What the soul is after is the highest expression of who you really are.
What are you more committed too? Isn’t it about time to get back in the game? I invite you to enjoy the gap from exactly where you are right now eagerly anticipating where you are going next? Begin closing that gap all the while embracing and being happy now. Reach for the best feeling thoughts you can and with enthusiasm and passion desiring to become better than you used to be. It’s about feeling good. The sooner you start feeling good without trying to control all of those exterior circumstances outside of your self, the sooner you will be on your way. So, go ahead and start feeling good right now before you even play…and all the good things in life will come into your experience. Most think that they will feel good when they play well. It doesn’t work that way. You’ve got to feel good no matter what. Soon the better it gets…the better it gets. It’s why champions are tuned in, turned on, and tapped in more often than they used to be. Be a champion! You too are meant to win just like Tiger!
Life and Golf are supposed to be fun – right now!
Embrace the highs and lows along the fairway of life, give appreciation and gratitude along your stroll, and be happy right now – no matter what? Why, because life is unfolding perfectly just the way it is. Sometimes I like to think perfectly imperfect just the way it is. Nevertheless, when you go back and connect the dots to your life and golf, you too will understand why it is you went through the challenges you did, and how wonderful that really was for the agenda and growth of your soul.
In other words, can I take the punch in the gut (a ball hit out of bounds, in the weeds, picker bushes, tall rough, thick trees, 3 putts, dubbed chips, bad break, choked down the stretch, and on and on) and still feel good? If you can’t then that’s the problem – and what you resist, persists. Once this concept begins to sink deeply into the depths of your soul, your life and golf will never be the same ever again. Everything changes with this new perspective. And guess what…shhh…there will be fewer times where you actually do take the punch in the gut, which means you will get more of what you really do want more often then every before.
Likewise when things are going along extremely well and you begin to feel that extra stress and pressure to keep on performing outside your comfort zone, can you still feel good and embrace the present moment? By the way – I work directly with individuals about lowering their comfort zone - more about all of that later.
Here’s the key to getting what you want. First you have to know what you want. And the only way to know what you really want is to know yourself. And the only way to know yourself is to be yourself. And the only way to be yourself is to listen to your heart and feelings – the language of your soul. Isn’t that something, be who you really are – how simple, how profound. What I do is coach, guide, and support others in removing the blocks, obstacles, or resistances that lie in the way to The Zone – the going with the flow. If you can tell me what you want, I can show you how to get it.
Back to being happy right now. My mentor, Neale Donald Walsch recently stated, “On this day of your life, dear friend, I believe God wants you to know…that you can be happy right here, not tomorrow, not in ten minutes, but now. You can be happy right now. Byron Katie said that, and she is right. Happiness is allowing yourself to be okay with what is, rather than wishing for, and bemoaning, what is not. Obviously, what is is what is supposed to be, or it would not be. The rest is just you, arguing with life. Somewhere along the way you will have to learn to just Trust Life. (Read that, “Trust God.”) Why not start today?”
Trust life and let life know that it can trust you.
Once you learn to just trust life that it is unfolding perfectly imperfect just the way it is, you can then move from what-is to what-is becoming or what you prefer. The moment you embrace the opposite of who you really are is the moment you evolve in quantum leaps to what we do prefer. Because if we keep giving our attention to what-is then we keep regurgitating the same story over and over again. It’s why Tiger is constantly thinking about becoming even better. I invite you to do the same.
Embrace what-is, be happy now, and eagerly anticipate what-is becoming, what you prefer to be next. Point yourself, your kayak downstream into the direction of your dreams. Got it?
The first two questions must be answered in this order, followed by the third:
1) Who am I?
2) Where am I going? And finally…
3) Who’s coming with me?
I’m As Nervous As A Cat!
Jack Nicklaus once said, “The difference between being nervous and scared is being prepared.” Rocco Mediate, 2008 U.S. Open overtime runner up to Tiger Woods, speaks his truth when describing his emotions and feelings when playing on perhaps the biggest stage in golf there is The U.S. Open stating on camera, “I’ll be as nervous as a cat.” We become what we think.
A couple days ago I was playing a round of golf with my friends and while getting ready to tee off on the 4th hole I told them ‘I’m as nervous as a cat’ through the first three holes…giving them The U.S. Open Rocco quote. Another friend said, “Me too and here I am playing with my buds.”
What is it that causes us to feel this nervous energy run throughout our bodies? I mean a little bit of excitement and eager anticipation is good for the soul. Too much anxiety creates unwanted tension in our mind and body. It’s nerves and it all starts with a thought – a vibration. Those who control, manage, or are able to be with their emotions will ultimately prevail. It was the great Harry Vardon who profoundly said, “There are only two types of player–those who keep their nerves under control and win championships and those who do not.”
By the 4th hole I was able to center and ground myself much better. Rocco talks about the same phenomenon. After we get going some we tend to settle in and get more comfortable. However, if we allow the event to become bigger than it really is in our mind, it will become that, despite the fact that it is not. It’s just a round of golf, a stroll in the park if you will, hitting a little white ball down the fairway and into a little round cup.
Really? I invite you to observe yourself when playing golf next. Really begin to notice and observe your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and any physical symptoms like a racing heart beat, shallow breathing, tension in the neck, or sweaty palms. Just notice. Can you be with that? Because what you look at disappears. Practice detachment from being all caught up in the experience.
Another technique that I like to use is The Mental Edge Golf Technique that focuses on releasing negative or stuck energy and replaces it with a new more positive focus and belief. First we acknowledge the situation, then we accept ourselves exactly was we are, forgive ourselves for feeling this way, and replace these negative aspects with positive ones, like: calm and confident, relaxed and focused, present and joyful…Let it be Easy! I’ll show you how to do it and after a few times you can do it on yourself. Same technique works in lowering your comfort zone as well.
What does it take to become a mentally tough golfer? Post your comments and feedback as we open up this can of worms and start spilling the beans.
Feeling stuck or confused, call me – no charge, no gimmicks.
Play Well and remember Golf Is Supposed To Be Fun,
Rand Marquardt
Author, Teacher, Mental Golf Performance Life Coach
www.golfissupposedtobefun.com
(231) 838 – life (5433)
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