Life and Golf are supposed to be fun – right now!
Embrace the highs and lows along the fairway of life, give appreciation and gratitude along your stroll, and be happy right now – no matter what? Why, because life is unfolding perfectly just the way it is. Sometimes I like to think perfectly imperfect just the way it is. Nevertheless, when you go back and connect the dots to your life and golf, you too will understand why it is you went through the challenges you did, and how wonderful that really was for the agenda and growth of your soul.
In other words, can I take the punch in the gut (a ball hit out of bounds, in the weeds, picker bushes, tall rough, thick trees, 3 putts, dubbed chips, bad break, choked down the stretch, and on and on) and still feel good? If you can’t then that’s the problem – and what you resist, persists. Once this concept begins to sink deeply into the depths of your soul, your life and golf will never be the same ever again. Everything changes with this new perspective. And guess what…shhh…there will be fewer times where you actually do take the punch in the gut, which means you will get more of what you really do want more often then every before.
Likewise when things are going along extremely well and you begin to feel that extra stress and pressure to keep on performing outside your comfort zone, can you still feel good and embrace the present moment? By the way – I work directly with individuals about lowering their comfort zone - more about all of that later.
Here’s the key to getting what you want. First you have to know what you want. And the only way to know what you really want is to know yourself. And the only way to know yourself is to be yourself. And the only way to be yourself is to listen to your heart and feelings – the language of your soul. Isn’t that something, be who you really are – how simple, how profound. What I do is coach, guide, and support others in removing the blocks, obstacles, or resistances that lie in the way to The Zone – the going with the flow. If you can tell me what you want, I can show you how to get it.
Back to being happy right now. My mentor, Neale Donald Walsch recently stated, “On this day of your life, dear friend, I believe God wants you to know…that you can be happy right here, not tomorrow, not in ten minutes, but now. You can be happy right now. Byron Katie said that, and she is right. Happiness is allowing yourself to be okay with what is, rather than wishing for, and bemoaning, what is not. Obviously, what is is what is supposed to be, or it would not be. The rest is just you, arguing with life. Somewhere along the way you will have to learn to just Trust Life. (Read that, “Trust God.”) Why not start today?”
Trust life and let life know that it can trust you.
Once you learn to just trust life that it is unfolding perfectly imperfect just the way it is, you can then move from what-is to what-is becoming or what you prefer. The moment you embrace the opposite of who you really are is the moment you evolve in quantum leaps to what we do prefer. Because if we keep giving our attention to what-is then we keep regurgitating the same story over and over again. It’s why Tiger is constantly thinking about becoming even better. I invite you to do the same.
Embrace what-is, be happy now, and eagerly anticipate what-is becoming, what you prefer to be next. Point yourself, your kayak downstream into the direction of your dreams. Got it?
The first two questions must be answered in this order, followed by the third:
1) Who am I?
2) Where am I going? And finally…
3) Who’s coming with me?
I’m As Nervous As A Cat!
Jack Nicklaus once said, “The difference between being nervous and scared is being prepared.” Rocco Mediate, 2008 U.S. Open overtime runner up to Tiger Woods, speaks his truth when describing his emotions and feelings when playing on perhaps the biggest stage in golf there is The U.S. Open stating on camera, “I’ll be as nervous as a cat.” We become what we think.
A couple days ago I was playing a round of golf with my friends and while getting ready to tee off on the 4th hole I told them ‘I’m as nervous as a cat’ through the first three holes…giving them The U.S. Open Rocco quote. Another friend said, “Me too and here I am playing with my buds.”
What is it that causes us to feel this nervous energy run throughout our bodies? I mean a little bit of excitement and eager anticipation is good for the soul. Too much anxiety creates unwanted tension in our mind and body. It’s nerves and it all starts with a thought – a vibration. Those who control, manage, or are able to be with their emotions will ultimately prevail. It was the great Harry Vardon who profoundly said, “There are only two types of player–those who keep their nerves under control and win championships and those who do not.”
By the 4th hole I was able to center and ground myself much better. Rocco talks about the same phenomenon. After we get going some we tend to settle in and get more comfortable. However, if we allow the event to become bigger than it really is in our mind, it will become that, despite the fact that it is not. It’s just a round of golf, a stroll in the park if you will, hitting a little white ball down the fairway and into a little round cup.
Really? I invite you to observe yourself when playing golf next. Really begin to notice and observe your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and any physical symptoms like a racing heart beat, shallow breathing, tension in the neck, or sweaty palms. Just notice. Can you be with that? Because what you look at disappears. Practice detachment from being all caught up in the experience.
Another technique that I like to use is The Mental Edge Golf Technique that focuses on releasing negative or stuck energy and replaces it with a new more positive focus and belief. First we acknowledge the situation, then we accept ourselves exactly was we are, forgive ourselves for feeling this way, and replace these negative aspects with positive ones, like: calm and confident, relaxed and focused, present and joyful…Let it be Easy! I’ll show you how to do it and after a few times you can do it on yourself. Same technique works in lowering your comfort zone as well.
What does it take to become a mentally tough golfer? Post your comments and feedback as we open up this can of worms and start spilling the beans.
Feeling stuck or confused, call me – no charge, no gimmicks.
Play Well and remember Golf Is Supposed To Be Fun,
Rand Marquardt
Author, Teacher, Mental Golf Performance Life Coach
www.golfissupposedtobefun.com
(231) 838 – life (5433)
Inspiring Excellence Within!