There is such a thing as trying too hard
“Lighten up Rand you’re taking this way too serious,” Neale Donald Walsch.
It’s true I was taking my spirituality way too seriously. You know what, I’ve been taking my life way too seriously too. Come to think about it, I’ve been taking my golf way too serious as well. Too much uptight overly intense emotion or mood on the golf course is basically an expression of fear. It keeps us tight, free from expressing our full artistic potential. It also takes further away from The Zone. We’ve projected ourselves into the future (thinking and worrying about outcome) and out of the present moment, where focus and excellence abounds. One of the characteristics of being in The Zone is being present right here and right now.
This phenomenon known as being in the present moment, staying loose, free to fully express oneself, giving ones best effort in the here and now is exactly what Captain Paul Azinger was able to pull off with his players at the Ryder Cup. It certainly didn’t hurt having a Boo Weekly around telling of his orangutan story or galloping down the first fairway like Happy Gilmore. The team stayed present and focused and away from being too overly intense, a trying too hard to make it happen versus relaxing, having fun, and allowing it to happen. Did I mention that Captain Azinger also hired Ron Braund, a life coach to guide the way and support this intention?
Think about it. When do you play your best golf? When you are trying too hard, pressing to make it happen or when you are enjoying the moment and allowing it to happen? Are you taken it too serious or are you having fun? Too often I find myself getting all uptight and tense over what?
I invite you to find a new thought that will lighten you up. Reach for a better feeling thought. ‘Hey, I’m with my friends it’s a beautiful day. This isn’t life or death out there. My wife is still going to kiss me when I come home. Might as well relax into this…after all, golf is supposed to be fun.’ The moment you shed that weight will be the moment you begin playing well again. Why not start sooner! Just be who you really are. Embrace the highs and lows along the fairway of life for this too shall come to pass.
The Better It Gets…The Better It Gets
Tiger Woods is on a mission to become the greatest golfer and champion of all time. A major mindset for him is 19. That’s 19 majors golf championships – one better than the great champion golfer, Jack Nicklaus. Tiger currently stands at number 14. Tiger also talks about getting better all the time. What he did yesterday is gone. He has an intense desire to become better than he used to be. He talks openly about his desire.
The biggest point around this discussion of getting better is the better it gets the better it really does get. When these new positive focus and belief thoughts filter deeply into our subconscious mind we really do gravitate toward and become our new thoughts. Yes, thoughts create things and thoughts create swings. We Become What We Think. That’s the mental game of golf – “The five-inch space between the ears,” Bobby Jones. As you gravitate and fine tune your thoughts upon all the good things you desire the better it really does get. Our success is measured by the amount of joy we feel around these thoughts about who we are, our self-image, which is lodged deeply into our subconscious mind.
Our subconscious mind runs everything in our life, including our golf game. Whatever we feed, supplant, imprint, and deposit into the treasury of our subconscious mind we become. Our subconscious mind is like a computer processing its program to a tee, all the way through our entire round…shot after shot…season after season. It’s like a plane on automatic pilot fulfilling its final destination. It’s like the student in school getting grades based upon what she believes is her comfort zone. It’s like the salesman who sells only so many policies or trinkets. We don’t deviate too much from this self-image we have allowed to exist in our subconscious mind, unless we change our thoughts and create more of a champion’s self-image. And whenever we do deviate some, most of us end up right back on track in no time at all, unless we allow a new belief to take root and grow. We’ve all settled for less, for mediocrity all because of our own self-limited belief system that we have allowed to exist. And if being mediocre doesn’t make you slightly upset, then perhaps this kind of message is just not for you? I know I was a tad upset with myself when I found out that I had settled for less. Who wants to be mediocre? Who wants to become their personal best?
So, the obvious question is how do I change my set point of perspective, my comfort zone and belief I have about myself, and my golf game? Change your thoughts and create a new belief about yourself, gradually shrinking or clearing an old belief that is no longer serving you. You’ve got to activate new and more beneficial beliefs giving more air time to that. Just thinking about what you don’t want, or how to deactivate a less than desirable vibration, only draws more of that into your experience. Our work is to feed our subconscious mind more and more beneficial beliefs and focus. Then, you will see that the better it gets…the better it gets.
Tiger is doing it all the time. He wants to get even better, so he thinks better feeling thoughts. And the better it gets, the better it gets. Eventually, you’ll forget about how things used to be, or that things are just the way they are. Instead of thinking it is what it is…move into a new focus and a more positive belief about what it is you prefer – you literally recreate yourself anew. You move from what-is to what it is you are becoming, what you prefer. It is a simple and as complex as that! And if you do not believe it, then that’s the problem. I’ll show you how to do this and break down any resistances you have that may be preventing you from playing full out to your full potential. That’s the mental, emotional, and spiritual side of golf and life. Ohm…
If you truly do want to change for the better you’ve got to change your thoughts around it. If you keep thinking about that this is just the way it is, or you never get any better, then it will be. You’ve fulfilled the self-fulfilling prophecy. You’ll keep regurgitating the same old story. Therefore create a new story and evolve to getting better than you used to be. You’ve got to think like a Tiger. You’ve got to start thinking like a champion. It works for us mere mortals and amateurs too!
Life and Golf are supposed to be fun – right now!
Embrace the highs and lows along the fairway of life, give appreciation and gratitude along your stroll, and be happy right now – no matter what? Why, because life is unfolding perfectly just the way it is. Sometimes I like to think perfectly imperfect just the way it is. Nevertheless, when you go back and connect the dots to your life and golf, you too will understand why it is you went through the challenges you did, and how wonderful that really was for the agenda and growth of your soul.
In other words, can I take the punch in the gut (a ball hit out of bounds, in the weeds, picker bushes, tall rough, thick trees, 3 putts, dubbed chips, bad break, choked down the stretch, and on and on) and still feel good? If you can’t then that’s the problem – and what you resist, persists. Once this concept begins to sink deeply into the depths of your soul, your life and golf will never be the same ever again. Everything changes with this new perspective. And guess what…shhh…there will be fewer times where you actually do take the punch in the gut, which means you will get more of what you really do want more often then every before.
Likewise when things are going along extremely well and you begin to feel that extra stress and pressure to keep on performing outside your comfort zone, can you still feel good and embrace the present moment? By the way – I work directly with individuals about lowering their comfort zone - more about all of that later.
Here’s the key to getting what you want. First you have to know what you want. And the only way to know what you really want is to know yourself. And the only way to know yourself is to be yourself. And the only way to be yourself is to listen to your heart and feelings – the language of your soul. Isn’t that something, be who you really are – how simple, how profound. What I do is coach, guide, and support others in removing the blocks, obstacles, or resistances that lie in the way to The Zone – the going with the flow. If you can tell me what you want, I can show you how to get it.
Back to being happy right now. My mentor, Neale Donald Walsch recently stated, “On this day of your life, dear friend, I believe God wants you to know…that you can be happy right here, not tomorrow, not in ten minutes, but now. You can be happy right now. Byron Katie said that, and she is right. Happiness is allowing yourself to be okay with what is, rather than wishing for, and bemoaning, what is not. Obviously, what is is what is supposed to be, or it would not be. The rest is just you, arguing with life. Somewhere along the way you will have to learn to just Trust Life. (Read that, “Trust God.”) Why not start today?”
Trust life and let life know that it can trust you.
Once you learn to just trust life that it is unfolding perfectly imperfect just the way it is, you can then move from what-is to what-is becoming or what you prefer. The moment you embrace the opposite of who you really are is the moment you evolve in quantum leaps to what we do prefer. Because if we keep giving our attention to what-is then we keep regurgitating the same story over and over again. It’s why Tiger is constantly thinking about becoming even better. I invite you to do the same.
Embrace what-is, be happy now, and eagerly anticipate what-is becoming, what you prefer to be next. Point yourself, your kayak downstream into the direction of your dreams. Got it?
The first two questions must be answered in this order, followed by the third:
1) Who am I?
2) Where am I going? And finally…
3) Who’s coming with me?
Recognizing Communication Breakdown in Golf & Life
There are so many things in life and golf to be grateful for and of course so many things to be disheartened by. There are always things we are working on to fix, change, and become better at, and there are other things we have very little control over, like our club head speed, which determines our distance – it’s a physics thing you know, something we can learn to accept and embrace. New technology will take us only so far. But today I want to bring to your attention something that we all can work on that will not only change the lives of those around us but will change our lives as well. “What’s that?” you might ask. Well, I will tell you — it is the way that we communicate.
The way we ask questions, give answers, listen, and share information can make someone’s day or it can ruin it. I’m sure you had someone say something to you regarding your golf game or some other negative comment that took the spirit right out of your sails. These upsetting moments plant seeds of low self-esteem into the very fabric of our subconscious minds – before too long we begin to believe and live this lie.
Have you ever asked yourself, ‘How am I showing up on the golf course? How am I communicating with others?’ You know you can learn an awful lot about a person by playing a round of golf with them. And you can learn an awful lot about yourself. I know you’ve recognized certain empowering aspects (gratitude, focus, mental toughness, joy, love) and less than desirable traits (anger, frustration, fear, insecurity, hate) in another. Yet have you really gone inside and observed how you are showing up as well. What we do to another we do to ourselves. What we do to ourselves we do to another. Golf on the fairway of life becomes a circle. The Secret is the law of attraction. We become what we think.
I invite you to become fully present and really observe yourself in how you are communicating with yourself and with others. If you find yourself beating up on yourself just close your eyes for a moment and ask yourself, “What hidden thought or belief have I been unaware of that affects my communications?” When you get in touch with your communications and their consequences, be gentle on yourself. Beating up on ourselves will not make us better communicators. In fact, it will do just the opposite.
Begin to notice right now the communications that you have received or ones that you have delivered that no longer serve your best interest and one by one release them and be grateful in becoming a better you. If there is someone to apologize too, say you are sorry with a compassionate heart and with true intention. Finally watch and observe your thoughts and the words you speak and replace them with a new more empowering self-talk, belief and focus. Sweeten your delivery and bring more awareness to each moment like a champion – you might just end up playing like one!
Think, talk, play, and carry yourself like a champion – Today!
Rand S. Marquardt, Author
Performance Enhancement Coach
Specializing in the Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Aspects of Golf
www.golfissupposedtobefun.com
(231) 838-5433
Inspiring Excellence Within
Visualization is Key to Becoming a Better Golfer
Who doesn’t desire to become a better golfer? Tiger Woods is on a mission to become a better golfer, are you? Lorena Ochoa put in a grueling winter 2007 practice schedule that looked like this:
1. 7:00 – 10:00 am: Short game 100 yards in
2. 11:00 – 1:00 pm: Putting
3. 2:00 – 5:00 pm: Long game
4. 5:30 – 7:30 pm: Meditation, yoga, and gym workout
Most likely us mere mortals who don’t play the game for our career and money (skins and Nassau aside) will not have this kind of time to invest into our golf game, however, what I have found is that if we practice the universal life principles of The Secret (the law of attraction), learn to embrace the moment and find out it’s insights, reach for better feeling thoughts remembering to go with the flow, and visualize, visualize, visualize, our life both on and off the golf course will dramatically improve and become better. All it takes is a simple shift in perspective.
The fastest, surest, easiest, and most ingenious way, between here and there is visualizing! What’s your take on visualizing? Are you? Tiger Woods visualizes his entire round before he plays. Jack Nicklaus sees the ball landing exactly how he sees it in his mind. Trevor Immelman dreamed about being the best golfer in the world, and for 4 days in April at The Masters he was.
The primary intention is to attract all of those whose dreams, desires, and goals are to play better golf – mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. As a student of life coaching and life education I decided to apply these universal life principles to the game of golf – once I healed and transformed my life enough to ‘get it.’I decided to set a powerful intention and trust life and let life know it can trust me.
For most of my ‘prime time’ golfing life I played to about a 6-handicap. In my mid-forties my handicap rose to an all time high of a 10. So, on February 19, 2005 I set an intention to drop my handicap to a 5 or less by July 4th.
I wanted to be a guinea pig in my own experiment. What followed is an amazing story because once you fully commit providence moves and the universe conspires with your desires. You too can connect to source energy and your higher (authentic) Self and play the game of golf and life to your full potential as we learn to love ourselves and align with life’s pure positive energy.
Learn how I went from a struggling, frustrated, and sometimes out of integrity being and a 10-handicap golfer to a more aligned, authentic, awakened being and a 1-handicap golfer in just one summer…and have stayed there for four years now…simply by accepting, embracing, observing, connecting, and listening to my higher Self. Lots of stuff to chew on…and each bullet point in connecting the dots in our life is as simple and complex as that!
In other words taking that next step is no easy step, unless it is? What’s coming up for you? What’s your next step? You think you can figure this out on your own? I did too – for over 30 years I thought I could figure this out too. And I’m practically a straight ‘A’ student with a Master’s degree – so what? Big deal! Yes, the answer and wisdom does lie within you – most are just too plane scared to find out something they might not like and continue sabotaging themselves in so many ways. Better not go there, that’s creepy. Yes, in order to get to the positives we first have to deal with the negatives – fearful thoughts, poor self-talk, playing scared and small, feeling unworthy and undeserving, blames, excuses, and poor me’s – Boo frickin’ hoo! Want to get back into the game of life, or are you just venting?
In the days and months to follow we will talk about getting healthy again, Dreams, The Zone (what it is and how to be in it), and your comfort zone (how you have settled for less and how to lower it), how to overcome and greatly reduce your fears, anger, worry, and frustrations, and how to create a champion’s self-image. So for now I invite you to begin to notice and observe your self on the golf course. How are you showing up? How are you feeling? What are you thinking? What’s happening in your body? The place to start is to notice and journal about that experience.
Embrace the highs and lows along the fairway of life. Be appreciative and grateful, and remember golf and life are meant to be and are supposed to be fun!
Warmly,
Rand S. Marquardt, Author
Performance Enhancement Coach
Specializing in the Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual Aspects of Golf
www.golfissupposedtobefun.com
(231) 838-5433
Inspiring Excellence Within!