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Simple Secrets To Playing Better Golf By Going With The Flow ~
Rand Scott Marquardt
Life & Mental Golf Performance Coach 
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Competitive Spirit & Temper
Even Tiger Woods can do “better”…
I’ve been, wanting to write about this apparent insidious dichotomy for quite some time. For most of us having a competitive driven spirit with a burning desire to be our best almost seems to go hand in hand with short outbursts of temper tantrums whenever we hit what we consider a bad shot, or we at least give it some internal muttering. Does it have to be this way? Do you have a choice to be angry or not? What I have come to understand is to take the high road whenever I can when it comes to this apparent catch-22. Is it a perfect science, absolutely not! Like all of life, it’s an eternal process to become better than you used to be. You want to get so mad at yourself then finally you decide not too. That’s a big change and a big adjustment in most of our set patterns of behavior. And it is possible to do this WITHOUT losing one ounce of competitive fire, only to gain a “better” golf game in the long run! Is it possible to not lose your temper after a “bad” golf shot and still play your best from here on out? ABSOLUTELY! What do you think?
Geoff Ogilvy came to this understanding of taking the high road several years ago. Now look at his demeanor, without losing one ounce of his competitive fire. In an interview with John Huggan from Golf Digest after winning the 2006 US Open, Ogilvy shared some enlightening insights that he has come to understand with his golf game.
Q: As a young player, were you impatient on the golf course?
A: Oh, yeah. I was horrendous. I could hit five good shots in a row, then one bad one. I’m sure I was a nightmare when I was 16 or 17, as many at that age are.
Q: What sort of stuff did you do?
A: I’d throw clubs around. I broke a few. I used a lot of four-letter words. The temper stuff is easy to fix psychologically. You either get angry or you don’t get angry; you have a choice.
A: I realize now that I was getting angry for everyone else around me, not for me. When you get that, that’s the day you fix it. When you play by yourself, you never smack the bag with the club, or get angry…ever…because there’s no audience. That’s my theory, anyway. After you hit a shot you get angry because you want the person you’re trying to impress to think that you’re better than this. I think that’s the root of it for nine out of ten people. The other one is purely psycho.
Which one are you? Which one am I? Which one is Tiger?
Tiger Woods is still in the process of working through his own self-criticism and impatient issues. He gets mad at himself and drops some four-letter words, or uses the Lord’s name in vain, which I think is just a habit of attraction, not an intentional jab at God or Jesus. He’s stubborn, like many of us, as the day is long. He still thinks he has to get mad at himself whenever he hits a less than desirable shot to keep his fire and competitive spirit, which, by the way, I am certainly not judging. I am merely observing. I have been there most of my adult life.
Tiger states it this way after his comeback tied for 4th place finish in The Masters, “I received some criticism for bad language, which I apologized for immediately after Saturday’s round,” Woods said on his blog. “It’s tough when you’re in a competitive environment and in the flow of a tournament. I’m not perfect. All I can say is I’m trying to do everything I can without losing my fire and competitive spirit.”
The world’s most mentally tough athlete and golfer still struggles with his anger and foul language – perhaps it’s a habitual patterned response? He later apologizes as he seeks to work through this negative perception he is giving the public as a most recognized role model.
The real question is can one control, manage, or “be with” their apparent disgust of their “bad” golf shot while still keeping every bit of their competitive juices flowing? I say absolutely a resounding YES, but I invite you to experiment and experience it on your own. I shared some of this talk with the Petoskey High School golf team recently. Now I share it with a wider audience. These concepts and more are mentioned in my book, The Fairway of Life. Please visit me at http://golfissupposedtobefun.com and sign up for my free newsletter too!
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Great Article Rand. I think being upset after shots isn’t a bad thing as long as your back under control before your next one. When tiger gets mad I think its cause he cares so much and has such high standards. There’s a difference between getting upset and letting the anger control the upcoming shots. Tiger’s anger sets a bad example for kids but i don’t think he lets it affect his game. I much like tiger get upset and looks so dumb to people so I’ve held it back a lot especially when golfing with members at work. I think its important to always stay in control and appear happy. its ok to be upset with your shots but its part of growing up when you can control it. Tiger definitely needs to get it under control now that he’s brought the microscope down on himself with his past “Transgressions”
Okay Nate I hear you! For some releasing or venting some frustration may work? What about the opportunity to learn from and become an objective detective immediately after a so-called “bad” or “poor” shot? If we vent too much and for too long we miss the chance to see what WE did that caused the less than desirable shot, hence lessening the chance to fix it next time. It’s a catch-22…you want to get soooo mad at yourself and little by little the more you embrace it you find you can’t get mad. Why? Because it does not benefit us or serve our best interest, which is to play better golf.
All I’m saying is let’s work on narrowing the gap of being angry or frustrated. Why do it? You hit the shot. It just is.
Phil, Retief, Ernie, Geoff, and many of the top-tier touring pro’s rarely show any emotion. I wonder why?
I find the more I embrace every golf shot the better I play. Just my 2 cents.
And believe me Nate - I am far from being “perfect.”
Thanks for your comments!
Rand,I agree there isn’t any positives that come from being angry. I think the anger may come from looking for a result or caring too much. If people can play with out being into the result and keeping in mind that they don’t care so much its easier to play better golf.
Thanks for the help!
I know Nate - the argument is that I am passionate about my golf and it’s natural for me to show frustration when I hit a “bad” shot.
Even labeling a shot as “bad” or “good” is a judgment. It’s just a shot either way. When we see our shot, feel it, and know we are going to hit what we want without thinking now we are expressing our freedom - The Zone. Everything else is some form of resistance or too many thoughts.
I say learn from our shots that get the best of us and seek to correct it - hopefully on our next similar shot.
Think of the insanity. I hit the shot. I caused the shot to go there. Soooo…I get mad at me who caused it. What happened? Simple, I rushed my swing. I didn’t finish my back swing. I came out of my swing. I was too nervous. I had negative thoughts. What caused it? Our own vibrational energy prior to hitting the shot. Stop trying to show others how good you think you are. You did it! Embrace it.
Rather learn to commit and trust the process - and not worry about where the ball is going. The shot produces the swing, not the other way around. When it clicks the balls goes where we wanted it to go all along through our visualization and being focused, present, calm, and having fun!