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New Release
The Fairway Of Life
Simple Secrets To Playing Better Golf By Going With The Flow ~
Rand Scott Marquardt
Life & Mental Golf Performance Coach 
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FacebookCompetitive Spirit & Temper
Competitive Spirit & Temper
Even Tiger Woods can do “better”…
I’ve been, wanting to write about this apparent insidious dichotomy for quite some time. For most of us having a competitive driven spirit with a burning desire to be our best almost seems to go hand in hand with short outbursts of temper tantrums whenever we hit what we consider a bad shot, or we at least give it some internal muttering. Does it have to be this way? Do you have a choice to be angry or not? What I have come to understand is to take the high road whenever I can when it comes to this apparent catch-22. Is it a perfect science, absolutely not! Like all of life, it’s an eternal process to become better than you used to be. You want to get so mad at yourself then finally you decide not too. That’s a big change and a big adjustment in most of our set patterns of behavior. And it is possible to do this WITHOUT losing one ounce of competitive fire, only to gain a “better” golf game in the long run! Is it possible to not lose your temper after a “bad” golf shot and still play your best from here on out? ABSOLUTELY! What do you think?
Geoff Ogilvy came to this understanding of taking the high road several years ago. Now look at his demeanor, without losing one ounce of his competitive fire. In an interview with John Huggan from Golf Digest after winning the 2006 US Open, Ogilvy shared some enlightening insights that he has come to understand with his golf game.
Q: As a young player, were you impatient on the golf course?
A: Oh, yeah. I was horrendous. I could hit five good shots in a row, then one bad one. I’m sure I was a nightmare when I was 16 or 17, as many at that age are.
Q: What sort of stuff did you do?
A: I’d throw clubs around. I broke a few. I used a lot of four-letter words. The temper stuff is easy to fix psychologically. You either get angry or you don’t get angry; you have a choice.
A: I realize now that I was getting angry for everyone else around me, not for me. When you get that, that’s the day you fix it. When you play by yourself, you never smack the bag with the club, or get angry…ever…because there’s no audience. That’s my theory, anyway. After you hit a shot you get angry because you want the person you’re trying to impress to think that you’re better than this. I think that’s the root of it for nine out of ten people. The other one is purely psycho.
Which one are you? Which one am I? Which one is Tiger?
Tiger Woods is still in the process of working through his own self-criticism and impatient issues. He gets mad at himself and drops some four-letter words, or uses the Lord’s name in vain, which I think is just a habit of attraction, not an intentional jab at God or Jesus. He’s stubborn, like many of us, as the day is long. He still thinks he has to get mad at himself whenever he hits a less than desirable shot to keep his fire and competitive spirit, which, by the way, I am certainly not judging. I am merely observing. I have been there most of my adult life.
Tiger states it this way after his comeback tied for 4th place finish in The Masters, “I received some criticism for bad language, which I apologized for immediately after Saturday’s round,” Woods said on his blog. “It’s tough when you’re in a competitive environment and in the flow of a tournament. I’m not perfect. All I can say is I’m trying to do everything I can without losing my fire and competitive spirit.”
The world’s most mentally tough athlete and golfer still struggles with his anger and foul language – perhaps it’s a habitual patterned response? He later apologizes as he seeks to work through this negative perception he is giving the public as a most recognized role model.
The real question is can one control, manage, or “be with” their apparent disgust of their “bad” golf shot while still keeping every bit of their competitive juices flowing? I say absolutely a resounding YES, but I invite you to experiment and experience it on your own. I shared some of this talk with the Petoskey High School golf team recently. Now I share it with a wider audience. These concepts and more are mentioned in my book, The Fairway of Life. Please visit me at http://golfissupposedtobefun.com and sign up for my free newsletter too!
Becoming a Champion
“The one who wins is always the one who wants it the most and is most expectant of it,” Abraham. And it’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. One essential ingredient in becoming a champion is to set the intention to become one. Like dreams, if we just willy nilly dance around them without ever fully committing, then nothing truly magical ever happens. You’ve got to make the commitment and stay in the process. Because the moment you think this doesn’t work, it won’t. It takes courage to keep on. It takes courage to dream and begin taking action steps beyond your normal way of being. It takes courage to step outside your current comfort zone. It takes courage to get your self up to speed with whom you say you wish to be. Maybe the reason you are where you are is because you’re scared to even set the intention for fear of failure? Maybe you’re afraid of success? Perhaps you’re afraid of what might be asked of you? Perhaps you just not willing to put in the time or you think money is the obstacle. Your greatest obstacle in your process is fear and doubt, and those are the culprits that kill many a dream and keep many golfers at mediocrity. Whereas, champion’s rise to the occasion.
“Fear of any kind is the number-one enemy of all golfers, regardless of ball-striking and shot making capabilities.”
—Jack Nicklaus
“I refuse to give into fear, real or imagined, or to be afraid either consciously or unconsciously of anything or anyone. I smile at my obstacles.”
—Tiger Woods
You can choose to keep on or fold like an accordion, yet all great champions overcame adversity and conquered their demons within. Everyone throws up all over themselves several times on their journey to becoming. It’s how you wish to perceive these growing pains. Every champion attributes their success to the adversity they overcame. They looked fear straight in the eye. Fear is your number one obstacle that must be dealt with in order to make it to the other side. Rather than be afraid of your fears, run away from them, I invite you to be with your fears. The more you become aware of them, the more you really look at them, the more you able to be with your fears, the more they disappear. For what FEARS really are is Fantasy Experienced As Real. Turn your fantasy into an awareness that is so powerful that you will thrive beyond your wildest dreams. You are Gods greatest creation and you are meant to win.
I looked “fear” in the eye and said, you come to me with confusion and darkness and failure…but I come to you in the light and strength of my being. I am in alignment with myself and you cannot stand against me.
In order to become the champion within you, you must first have the courage to deal with you fears – it is the biggest obstacle that lies between where you are right now and where it is you say you wish to be. Dealing with your fears is an eternal process. The alternative is where you are right now. One of the best ways to support you in living the life of your dreams on the golf course is to keep on feeding yourself more and more beneficial beliefs that uplift and inspire the true champion within you. “The game of golf is played mainly on a five-inch course, in a space between your ears,” Bobby Jones.
* More later about feeding our subconscious mind in a series of Creating a Champion’s Self-Image CD recordings to listen to over and over again.
You see, in order to become and begin developing the champion within you, you have got to become a match to you. What do you want? What does it take to become a match to what I want? Where do I begin? You must first ask yourselves a series of questions and then answer them. The best place to begin is exactly where you are right now. Once you begin to fully commit and set the intention to become, notice and become fully aware of what comes up for you, because without the commitment, there is not another level of awareness. Without the commitment there is not another level of growth, which is often messy. If you keep thinking what you’ve always thought, you’re going to keep getting what you’ve always gotten. My intention here is to wake you up, so you can choose and decide; to break you free from the grasp of mediocrity. “Champions give their best effort all the time,” Mike Krzyzewski. In order to fight through the mediocrity, you must first fight through your own demons of adversity, because they come first. Once you announce and declare yourself to be something, the exact opposite enters your experience first. Many will quit when the going gets tough. What will you do? With ease and grace, with humility, I invite you to keep on.
How do you see the game of golf?
For the most part I saw the game of golf as something scary, something I wanted to play so well at, yet I was afraid much of the time. Oh sure, I had my moments when I felt that everything was clicking. Golf was fun and I was caught up in the moment. However, the next day would come around and it felt like I was starting over with all my same old fears. If only I could start where I left off from the day before? I saw the game of golf as a sport I loved to hate – unless I was playing well. Slowly I am changing my tune (my self-image) to appreciate golf developing an attitude of gratitude. I am becoming more of the champion that lies within me! Do I still have nervous energy creep up before a round, and sometimes in the heat of the battle – you betcha. I’m just better prepared to handle such a monster. I am becoming my own coach, or an objective detective in my own process better equipped mentally to handle the task at hand. How do you see the game of golf?
Do you see the game of golf as a harsh, cruel, and frustrating sport? Or do you see it as an outrageously fun and enjoyable experience? Is it a grind and a struggle, or is it a pleasant stroll in the park? Do you remain open or are afraid to express your inner talents? Are you going with the flow or paddling against it? You see, how you perceive the game of golf will become an exact match every time to your experience. Whatever and wherever you give your focus, you will experience.
There’s no better feeling in the world on the golf course when everything just “clicks.” It’s a feeling of just knowing where the stream of Well-Being abounds. It’s as if God is flowing to and through us. We’ve transcended the self-imposed limit we have set. Champion’s expect to play well, and they do. Champion’s find them selves playing golf more often in The Zone. Sometimes we find ourselves in this Zone experience because we just temporarily forget about our fears. Almost out of nowhere it just happens for a spell. Yet, what if I told you that you could find yourself in this state of being more often? What would you say? Probably you’d say something along the lines of a BIG YES, of course, I would love to play golf more often in The Zone! Believe it and you will see it. Yet most have their doubts and will end up finishing their thought or conversation with a “yeah but.” Yeah but, I’ve got to swing a certain way. Yeah but, I don’t have enough time. Yeah but, my swing sucks…yeah but, yeah but, yeah but. Before your dream even begins to take root The Realist in us often compromises it, or squashes it. I guarantee you if you end your thoughts with a “yeah but;” then that will be what you’ll get. If The Realist takes over, you also get that. If you don’t believe any of this, you won’t. Most will say show me and I will believe it. What if I said the magic formula is believe it and you will see it?
Do you know why some golfers succeed consistently, and others don’t? Well, I do, and it’s all in how they perceive their world and what they allow to filter into the depths of their personal self-image, which is lodged deeply within their subconscious mind, which runs everything in their life, including their golf game. It’s called mental toughness in the golf world. Fortunately for some, like a Tiger Woods or Trevor Immelman, they have been trained from a young age with conscious parenting to become champions. For most of us, we must change our current programming; otherwise we remain stuck and acclimated to our miserable patterns of negative, fearful, and other foolish self-sabotaging behaviors and their mediocre results. To become a champion, you must act and play like one. You must believe in yourself. Arnold Palmer is doing his best in passing this kind of mental understanding onto his grandson, Sam Saunders. And he knows it’s up to Sam to grasp it.
Now on the other hand if everything is just clicking along and you’ve mastered the mental game of golf…then by all means keep on. Congratulations you’re one of a kind. But, if not, then we’ve got to start telling ourselves a new story, one that supports our new vision in being our best. The first place to begin is to start talking, acting, and playing like a champion. Acting as if it is already so. These new beneficial beliefs begin taking root into the treasury of our subconscious minds. At first it may seem like there are two of us playing this game, one who wants to have a new, more empowering self-image, and another who regresses back to our old fearful patterns of behavior. Be patient through this process of becoming and the relief of better feeling thoughts will be drawn unto you. The power and wisdom lies within you.
Therefore, let your new dominant intent to feel joy while you are playing this wonderful game and the freedom to express yourself, to grow in the process, and have more fun will come quickly and easily into alignment. See your golf as one of an enjoyable experience – even if you are well over par in the beginning of your round. Just keep asking for the alignment with the stream of Well-Being. You are God’s greatest creation and you are a creator of your own joyful golf experience. This is your mission. This is your quest. This is what you have been asking for – the freedom to fully express yourself feeling outrageous joy along the fairway of life. “Be as you wish to seem,” Socrates. Act as if it is already so.
Enjoy The Masters! Notice how Champion’s carry themselves.
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