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New Release
The Fairway Of Life
Simple Secrets To Playing Better Golf By Going With The Flow ~
Rand Scott Marquardt
Life & Mental Golf Performance Coach 
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Facebook“Why am I such a chicken,” Dinara Safina
The 2009 Women’s French Open Final
Tennis and golf are similar sports when it comes to the mind, mental toughness, handling pressure and stress…anxiety, fears, being in the now versus getting ahead of ourselves.
First, congratulations to #7 Swetlana Kuznetsova defeating Dinara Safina #1 in The French Open final 6-4, 6-2.
I enjoy watching those pursuing excellence in their sport of choice. I enjoy observing how athletes handle themselves in being their best. We can learn from the triumphs and the disasters, and treating those two imposters just the same, as Bobby Jones finally began to understand after years of coming in second.
As a life & mental golf performance coach I can certainly relate to the play from both of these tennis giants. I can feel their emotions and thoughts. Swetlana came out on top today…she was the one who was more calm and relaxed. Her thoughts were to go out there and, “have fun and enjoy it.” The pressure fell too deeply on the one who wanted it so badly she ended up pushing it further away. You could see it slipping as she missed shots and started pressing. Finally, she let it out in front of the whole world to see and hear, “Why am I such a chicken,” almost gesturing to her coach as she expressed her truth to herself. Why am I such a chicken is a great question to ask ourselves.
NBC TV announcers and analysts Mary Carillo and John McEnroe stated many keen observations about this match. It is my mission to pass these observations on to you in hopes that you and I will take our own game to new levels of mental toughness overcoming the fears, the chicken, or demons that lie within us.
Carillo and McEnroe picked up upon this energy as they witnessed the negative emotions, tenseness, and mental roadblocks get the best of the world’s #1. Carillo noted that Safina allows her nakedness to come through, often expressing her emotions when she breaks down, often crying. It’s my feeling that Safina wants it so badly that she pushes it further away. She prepares herself for this moment…yet the moment got the best of her. She gets ahead of herself and out of the now, and it is in the now where The Zone resides. “Just get out of your own way,” Carillo stated. “Easier said than done Mary, it’s a whole lot cozier up here,” McEnroe noted. “Just stay in the moment here…classic one shot at a time and this match would be far from over,” McEnroe continued as we all felt the pressure on Safina’s shoulders. As the breakdown continued there is a tendency to spiral further out of control, McEnroe reiterated, “You can see how the nerves are wreaking havoc on Safina.” The double fault to end the match ended the nightmare.
Now it’s a question of what can Safina do to keep her faith and belief in herself, so that the nightmare goes away? The answer: you’ve got to keep activating more and more beneficial beliefs and allow them to take root into your self-image, which is lodged within your subconscious brain, which runs everything in your life, including your tennis and golf game. Eventually you give more “air time” to beneficial beliefs and you literally drown out less beneficial ones – you become a new you.
So how do we create a winner’s self-image? Is it a perception that in order to win we then can believe in ourselves, that we are losers unless we win? Or, do we believe in ourselves, be happy, enjoy the moment and let winning take care of it self? How does one win? What is the secret or magic formula? What is the answer to all of this madness? How does one overcome “throwing up” all over oneself on the golf course – similar to what Safina just experienced in The 2009 French Open Final? What can we learn from all of this? What can we do to build that champions self-image?
Sit with these questions and answer them on your own. What do you think? Yes, we must experience this ourselves if we so choose to put ourselves on the line. My answer: it’s about creating a winner’s or champions self-image of ourselves. I show and tell you how to do this in Chapter 15 of my book The Fairway of Life. How much time you invest in yourself is a direct match to what you will reap. For now, seek to find good feeling thoughts no matter what. Stay in the now, and remember golf, like life and tennis, are supposed to be fun!
Dinara Safina is a great champion…and if she doesn’t know it…then that’s the problem! The same goes for all of us. Feed your mind, heart, and soul the nutrition that empowers you – the gift of believing in yourself, and loving yourself just exactly as you are…all the while gravitating toward the picture you are painting of what you prefer. Act as if it is so. “Be as you wish to seem,” Socrates
“I refuse to give into fear, real or imagined, or to be afraid either consciously or unconsciously of anything or anyone.”
“I smile at my obstacles.”
—Tiger Woods
The Answer & Wisdom Lies Within You!
What will it take for me to become a better golfer?
You must go within to find the answer. If you do not go within, you go without. Most likely you have already heard, you have already felt it, you have already known all along what to do. It is always up to you to choose and decide…and it is always inside of you. You are the leading edge extension of Source Energy. Nobody else has the answer. Quit waiting to be ready. You are ready and you don’t have to know how.
“The answer and wisdom lies within…and you will know what to do.” I will never forget those words told to me by my coach, Jeff Malone some five years ago. How true…how profound…! Remember: wisdom is knowledge applied. Therefore, take action and the how’s will present themselves. Set an intention, stretch your comfort zone, and allow providence to move through you. You will be shown how once you make the commitment.
Empowering another is asking them what they think…it’s an internal self-reflection invitation. All great Masters teach by the clarity of their example and by inspiring the student to think, say, and do through their own thoughts, words, and actions. “When you can take the pebble from my hand, it will be time for you to go,” from the Master in Kung Fu. What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? If you find yourself saying something like… ‘I don’t know or … I’m not sure or I don’t know what to think.’ Keep answering your own question adding … ‘but if you thought you knew…what would that be…what would that look like.’ The answer & wisdom lies within. Just remember: any “yeah…but” also kills the whole deal. It is my desire for you to trust your natural instincts, your natural insights, your natural clarity and wisdom, which lies within – you being a powerful creator and master of your own domain.
Now if you seem stuck and really want clarity around this…simply take out a piece of paper and write down your question, problem, condition or quandary…journal about it. “What will it take for me to transfer the way I hit the ball on the range and take it to the course? How can I overcome my fears? How can stop throwing up all over myself? Why am I so scared? What will it take me to become a better golfer?” Sit with these kinds of questions for a moment and perhaps into the next morning…you see at night we allow our minds to settle and rejuvenate from all the hustle and bustle. When you arise simply sit down and compose a simple wisdom-filled response. Be careful in shrugging it off as some far out “woo woo” type answer that you “might think” you are making up…even though you really are. You may just surprise yourself.
If you still feeling stuck in “how to” begin…I’ve got a suggestion. Start by setting an intention to what you desire to be. For greater clarity around all of this just give me a call. No charge, no strings, no debts…just allow me to guide and support you along The Fairway of Life.
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