“Why am I such a chicken,” Dinara Safina
The 2009 Women’s French Open Final
Tennis and golf are similar sports when it comes to the mind, mental toughness, handling pressure and stress…anxiety, fears, being in the now versus getting ahead of ourselves.
First, congratulations to #7 Swetlana Kuznetsova defeating Dinara Safina #1 in The French Open final 6-4, 6-2.
I enjoy watching those pursuing excellence in their sport of choice. I enjoy observing how athletes handle themselves in being their best. We can learn from the triumphs and the disasters, and treating those two imposters just the same, as Bobby Jones finally began to understand after years of coming in second.
As a life & mental golf performance coach I can certainly relate to the play from both of these tennis giants. I can feel their emotions and thoughts. Swetlana came out on top today…she was the one who was more calm and relaxed. Her thoughts were to go out there and, “have fun and enjoy it.” The pressure fell too deeply on the one who wanted it so badly she ended up pushing it further away. You could see it slipping as she missed shots and started pressing. Finally, she let it out in front of the whole world to see and hear, “Why am I such a chicken,” almost gesturing to her coach as she expressed her truth to herself. Why am I such a chicken is a great question to ask ourselves.
NBC TV announcers and analysts Mary Carillo and John McEnroe stated many keen observations about this match. It is my mission to pass these observations on to you in hopes that you and I will take our own game to new levels of mental toughness overcoming the fears, the chicken, or demons that lie within us.
Carillo and McEnroe picked up upon this energy as they witnessed the negative emotions, tenseness, and mental roadblocks get the best of the world’s #1. Carillo noted that Safina allows her nakedness to come through, often expressing her emotions when she breaks down, often crying. It’s my feeling that Safina wants it so badly that she pushes it further away. She prepares herself for this moment…yet the moment got the best of her. She gets ahead of herself and out of the now, and it is in the now where The Zone resides. “Just get out of your own way,” Carillo stated. “Easier said than done Mary, it’s a whole lot cozier up here,” McEnroe noted. “Just stay in the moment here…classic one shot at a time and this match would be far from over,” McEnroe continued as we all felt the pressure on Safina’s shoulders. As the breakdown continued there is a tendency to spiral further out of control, McEnroe reiterated, “You can see how the nerves are wreaking havoc on Safina.” The double fault to end the match ended the nightmare.
Now it’s a question of what can Safina do to keep her faith and belief in herself, so that the nightmare goes away? The answer: you’ve got to keep activating more and more beneficial beliefs and allow them to take root into your self-image, which is lodged within your subconscious brain, which runs everything in your life, including your tennis and golf game. Eventually you give more “air time” to beneficial beliefs and you literally drown out less beneficial ones – you become a new you.
So how do we create a winner’s self-image? Is it a perception that in order to win we then can believe in ourselves, that we are losers unless we win? Or, do we believe in ourselves, be happy, enjoy the moment and let winning take care of it self? How does one win? What is the secret or magic formula? What is the answer to all of this madness? How does one overcome “throwing up” all over oneself on the golf course – similar to what Safina just experienced in The 2009 French Open Final? What can we learn from all of this? What can we do to build that champions self-image?
Sit with these questions and answer them on your own. What do you think? Yes, we must experience this ourselves if we so choose to put ourselves on the line. My answer: it’s about creating a winner’s or champions self-image of ourselves. I show and tell you how to do this in Chapter 15 of my book The Fairway of Life. How much time you invest in yourself is a direct match to what you will reap. For now, seek to find good feeling thoughts no matter what. Stay in the now, and remember golf, like life and tennis, are supposed to be fun!
Dinara Safina is a great champion…and if she doesn’t know it…then that’s the problem! The same goes for all of us. Feed your mind, heart, and soul the nutrition that empowers you – the gift of believing in yourself, and loving yourself just exactly as you are…all the while gravitating toward the picture you are painting of what you prefer. Act as if it is so. “Be as you wish to seem,” Socrates
“I refuse to give into fear, real or imagined, or to be afraid either consciously or unconsciously of anything or anyone.”
“I smile at my obstacles.”
—Tiger Woods
The Answer & Wisdom Lies Within You!
What will it take for me to become a better golfer?
You must go within to find the answer. If you do not go within, you go without. Most likely you have already heard, you have already felt it, you have already known all along what to do. It is always up to you to choose and decide…and it is always inside of you. You are the leading edge extension of Source Energy. Nobody else has the answer. Quit waiting to be ready. You are ready and you don’t have to know how.
“The answer and wisdom lies within…and you will know what to do.” I will never forget those words told to me by my coach, Jeff Malone some five years ago. How true…how profound…! Remember: wisdom is knowledge applied. Therefore, take action and the how’s will present themselves. Set an intention, stretch your comfort zone, and allow providence to move through you. You will be shown how once you make the commitment.
Empowering another is asking them what they think…it’s an internal self-reflection invitation. All great Masters teach by the clarity of their example and by inspiring the student to think, say, and do through their own thoughts, words, and actions. “When you can take the pebble from my hand, it will be time for you to go,” from the Master in Kung Fu. What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? If you find yourself saying something like… ‘I don’t know or … I’m not sure or I don’t know what to think.’ Keep answering your own question adding … ‘but if you thought you knew…what would that be…what would that look like.’ The answer & wisdom lies within. Just remember: any “yeah…but” also kills the whole deal. It is my desire for you to trust your natural instincts, your natural insights, your natural clarity and wisdom, which lies within – you being a powerful creator and master of your own domain.
Now if you seem stuck and really want clarity around this…simply take out a piece of paper and write down your question, problem, condition or quandary…journal about it. “What will it take for me to transfer the way I hit the ball on the range and take it to the course? How can I overcome my fears? How can stop throwing up all over myself? Why am I so scared? What will it take me to become a better golfer?” Sit with these kinds of questions for a moment and perhaps into the next morning…you see at night we allow our minds to settle and rejuvenate from all the hustle and bustle. When you arise simply sit down and compose a simple wisdom-filled response. Be careful in shrugging it off as some far out “woo woo” type answer that you “might think” you are making up…even though you really are. You may just surprise yourself.
If you still feeling stuck in “how to” begin…I’ve got a suggestion. Start by setting an intention to what you desire to be. For greater clarity around all of this just give me a call. No charge, no strings, no debts…just allow me to guide and support you along The Fairway of Life.
Charles Barkley – The Swing vs. The Mind
The man speaks his mind…openly and candidly. Charles Barkley is an icon of epidemic proportions. Charles is a fun character to observe. He shows up big wherever he goes, sometimes too big…and now he’s a case study for one of the most brilliant golf instructors in the world. He’s the Hank Haney Project, golf instructor to Tiger Woods, as seen on The Golf Channel. Will Hank succeed in his quest in making Charles Barkley a better golfer?
I think the answer to that question is certainly “yes,” at least to some degree by sheer exposure and routine. Hank seems to believe that the problem is with his swing plane, not his mind. However, others like Padraig Harrington thinks that it’s all in Charles’ head and says he “needs a shrink.” Which is it? Is it all swing or all in his head?
Perhaps it’s a little bit of both. Let’s face it, Charles’ has been seen in celebrity pro-ams…and he can be downright dangerous. His swing is awkward and out of plane…so a correction is part of this process. He can also use some redirection with his beliefs and how he talks to himself. Perhaps he’s sooooooooo candidly open and honest to a fault. Keep thinking what you’ve always thought and you will get what you’ve always gotten.
Charles says he’s not getting any better when it comes time to play the course…hence a self-fulfilling prophecy. Or he tells himself that he’s not very good. Another obstacle to him playing his best is that he keeps yapping his trap about how he’s going to beat others. His ego gets the best of him, which takes him even further out of his natural zone or flow. Charles is a piece of work and he gets what he’s asking for…it’s a perfect match.
Now, if he really wanted to get better, I would suggest that he set his intention and begin acting as if it is already so. In other words, Charles, start telling your self a new story instead of the reality of “how it is.” I would invite Charles to return to dreaming his dream, like when you were young and ambitious with visions of being your best as a basketball player. We gravitate toward the picture we are painting. I see doubt and negative thoughts and self-sabotage, along with his thoughts of playing against another (a big ego) being the real culprit or obstacle to him playing his best. It will be interesting to watch Haney perform his magic and see if this mind-memory connection to his golf swing will click and work for Charles on the course when it counts. However, I know that golf is more than just swing plane. Swinging on plane in a repetitive manner must help with some degree of confidence…you would think?
I would go back to the drawing board with Charles and have him set a new intention to the kind of golfer he desires to be. Golf and life will proceed out of your intentions you set for them. I would suggest that he invest the time to begin creating and building a new champion’s self-image within his subconscious mind, “…the five-inch space between his ears,” Bobby Jones. Because our self-image of ourselves runs everything in our life, including our golf game. It’s up to Charles for him to believe in himself. That’s the real key. There’s a balance and harmony between mind, body, and spirit in order to be our best. We gravitate toward the picture we are painting of our self. Charles is his own worst enemy. “We have met the enemy, and he is us,” Pogo. What do you think, Charles?
The 2009 Masters
What drama. What story lines. From the poor beginnings as a 10-year old caddy, Argentine Angel Cabrera emerges as The Masters Champion, his second major after winning the 2007 U.S. Open. Angel took pride in never needing a sports psychologist at his side. Instead, he opted for his trusty pack of cigarettes. There is more than one way to skin a cat. If Angel ever does get rattled it’s after some poor execution where he gets down on himself. On this day, for this occasion, he was the one left standing - for himself and perhaps - for the memory and honor of his fellow countrymen Roberto De Vicenzo.
The 2009 Masters began with some fireworks right from the get-go. The cool Texan, Chad Campbell, started off in record setting form opening with 5 straight birdies. Kenny Perry was playing on house money having accomplished more than he ever imagined with his golf. “Everything is a bonus,” he told us. He’s grateful and appreciative, a true gentlemen and sportsman. He set his goal to play in the 2008 Ryder Cup and now to win 20 times on tour and compete in majors. Everything is going along according to hoyle. It always does. The universe is always yielding to our desires and our asking; now it is up to us to allow it in. Anthony Kim found out he was taking his first round at Augusta National Golf Club way too serious. With the tragic death of Angel’s baseball pitcher, Nick Adenhart, it put it all into perspective for Kim. Life is a precious gift, “That could’ve been me,” he said with a somber heart. Kim set a Masters record with 11 birdies in his second round of golf, posting a 65.
Then came Sunday. First it was Phil to make a charge, next it was Tiger. The roars were deafening throughout the tall pines and magnolias, several groups ahead of the leaders. Everyone was following the two giants - the energy was maddening. The stage was set for a memorable Masters. Then Phil missed two short putts, and Tiger bogeyed…again. Soon after #’s 1 & 2 in the world exited the stage, three were left standing.
Besides the sheer exhilaration of just watching such an event, Nick Faldo provided extraordinary commentary into his own psyche, a past 3-time Masters Champion in 1989, 1990, and 1996. Personally, I resonate with his philosophy more than any other. On the inside I’m not too sure if Faldo’s philosophy is too much different than Cabrera’s mental mindset. It’s just a matter of what works and how we end up believing in ourselves, or not? Cabrera came from nothing but pure desire and sure will. He emerged from the caddy ranks onto the biggest stage of them all - winning a green jacket. Faldo had dreams too. He set intentions; he let his will and his belief in himself turn him into the champion that he is. He practiced training his mind. The key is to find out which way works for you.
Faldo says, “You really got to believe you will make everything. Today I will hole everything.” In order to pull off the shots you need:
Inner courage
Inner knowing
Inner self-belief
Faldo says, “What it takes is to be totally in the moment.” You need:
Creative visualization
A wonderfully def touch
And from high above the Georgia pines the golfing gods on your side
Faldo talks about meditating and how the new guys look at him and say, what’s that? He talks about how he used to meditate twice a day, which allows him to become more present, more peaceful, and helps set the tone and intention for his day and his round.
I write about all of these things in my book, The Fairway of Life: Simple Secrets To Playing Better Golf By Going With The Flow due out in mid-May. The best way is to find out what way works for you. Remember: my way is merely one-way and there are plenty of paths. Do you like what you are seeing with the results in your golf game? Are you making strides? What small action step can you take today that will make you a better you and a better player tomorrow?
Perhaps we can all agree that no matter what: life and golf is supposed to be fun!
Becoming a Better Golfer By David Zmikly
Hi Rand, I’m excited to share a breakthrough I’ve recently experienced. First, thank you for your commitment to yourself, the game of golf, and to this amazing website…I am inspired and it’s time for a change!
My game has been the same for 10 years or more, as you know, pretty stagnant. Sure, I’ve had a few decent rounds, but for the most part I’ve hovered around the low to mid 90’s. Through your guidance however, I’ve chosen to step out of myself to observe who and how I’ve been being, on and off the course. Like most, I’ve always wanted to score better, but I can see now that my approach to the game is what has hindered me. Every time I’ve played in the past, I’ve gone to the course carrying my baggage (not my golf bag); fear, doubt, worry and pride. “What if I play bad? I don’t want to lose money! Will people get upset if I suck?” Sometimes I could hide these inevitable landmines, and begin with a couple pars, possibly even a birdie, but sooner than later the demons would surface and get the best of me…all because of my ‘concern’ of being able (or not) to shoot a low score. The focus of my game was always the score, never on really enjoying myself, the comradery of friends and being grateful for the beautiful surroundings. Even when I tried to tell myself to relax and enjoy, my subconscious was constantly talking about score, score, score! I had to ‘look good’ and thought I could only be happy if I played well. Consequently, every bad shot, bad hole and bad round left me disappointed, again.
I remember playing an outing with 8-10 guys at Pine Knob, and being so disgusted with my game that afterward I got in my car and left without a word to anyone…what a loser! Another round I threw my 4-iron into a 40 ft. pine tree surrounded by junipers, and never found it. I couldn’t have been a good sport if I tried.
The last couple years though I’ve found peace with letting go of worrying about the outcome, even when I knew I wanted to ‘look good’ but couldn’t. My mind was made up that “My score is my score, so I’ll just accept it.” This did give me relief, although it didn’t lower my score. I simply resigned myself to the fact that I sucked no matter how hard I tried, so I might as well get used to it and enjoy myself anyway I decided to just give up on even trying as soon as my game went to hell (which was ususally on the front nine), and drink away my misery on the back.
That was then, this is now. As we talked about last night, I’ve never been so inspired and excited about my game. Your guidance and wisdom hit me like a brick Rand, and I got it. I got that ‘Going With the Flow’ means going with the flow of life, realizing and understanding that we are all connected to the omnipotent Energy of the Universe/God, and by virtue of the Law of Attraction and Deliberate Creation, we are creating our own reality every day! Our thoughts, words, feelings and emotions are all energy, so that which we radiate draws back to us an equal energy in response. So, I get now how I can harness this amazing power that we all have, and use it to my advantage in my golf game, as well as in life. I’m vibating like crazy, knowing now that I can go out to the course with confidence, and play a game with myself, inside of my game and actually have fun
I heard Jack Nicklaus say during an event a few weeks ago something I had never considered in my 25 years of playing, something you’ve also suggested. He always first visualized the end result of every shot, and then the flight or roll of the shot, and then let the picture create the swing. Wow, what a concept. I’ve felt that my visualization was good, but I never let go and surrendered my swing. I always tried to control it, and there in fact was the problem.
I had an epiphany, in realizing the problem and understanding the power of the solution. Never before have I had the genuine confidence to say that I could break 80, and now I know that I can and I will, this summer. The idea for me is to play a game with myself, within my game. I’m excited knowing that all I have to do is let go of the ’score’ and trust that my visualization and alignment with Well-Being will lead the way. In this knowing, I accept that I will have good shots and bad, I am where I am and it will take time to improve…and I will! So each round will be a game for me to become aware and observe myself in action, focus on each shot (not even the hole), accept the outcome without attachment and practice being grateful, for my friends, the surroundings and my growth. Feeling good and accepting the results will naturally lead to a better game, and the better it gets the better it gets. I already know it’s going to work because I remember clearly instances in the past when I called shots beforehand (being cocky), and to my amazement they manifested…instantly! Had I only understood the power that’s been harnessed and patiently awaiting to assist…but that’s okay, I’m perfectly fine with it. I’ve come to the realization that being happy is more important than being a ‘low score’ whether I accomplish it or not, so my key to enjoying golf and life, is to unconditionally accept my game exactly as it is, and exactly as it is not. And for that, I am grateful.
Thanks my Friend, you’re the best!
David Zmikly
“The will is greater than the skill!”
Phil Mickelson – Practicing the Infallible Formula
In all my years in life coaching and life education: in processing, growing, and evolving, perhaps the quickest way to get you from where you are to where you desire to be is by practicing the Infallible Formula. Once you’re on your path of where you desire to be through your dreams, desires, visualizations and of course taking action, practicing the Infallible Formula will provide a new level of understanding. They say a great teacher teaches what they desire to learn or understand the most. The Infallible Formula states: cause another to become that which you desire to be your self. That’s exactly what Mickelson is doing now, and what other PGA teaching professionals have been doing all along. It’s why they get better themselves.
Phil Mickelson was interviewed this past weekend during his fine play in the 2009 CA Championship at Doral – The Blue Monster in Miami. Phil was describing the Infallible Formula in his words of how he understood that you teach what you want to be yourself. “Simplifying my techniques and to articulate and translate it so everybody can do it has forced me to simplify my own game and, consequently, I’ve never chipped or hit bunker shots as well,” said Mickelson, who added that he has never felt so good standing over a shot in his career as he does these days. Not too mention the way he’s freewheeling his Galloway FT-9 driver as well.
Mickelson recently put out a short-game video for the masses and said that has helped his own precision game get to be “as good as it’s ever been.” Gosh, here I thought he was already pretty dang good – one of the best in world. Now, he’s even better than he used to be!
Excerpts from Chapter 10 – Golf Vices of The Fairway of Life: Simple Secrets To Playing Better Golf By Going With The Flow ~.
Coaches Notes: Encourage others you play with to be there best and this will make you a better golfer. * In 2009 this formula is making Phil Mickelson a better short game player because he’s causing others to be better with their short game. Plus he articulates and practices the simplicity of his message at the same time. Isn’t it a lot more fun when the both of you are playing well? And if the other plays well enough to win the prize congratulate them on their fine play. Never root against another, never hope another misses, and never play for the money. Phil truly desires that Tiger will get back to being his best. The thrill of competition stimulates our desire to be our best. Play your game to the best of your God-given talent and perhaps you’ll inspire another to be their best as well. Remember: life is like a circle. What you do for another, you also do for yourself. And what you do for yourself, you also do for another. Do it with pureness of heart, with kind spirit, and genuine compassion, and your life will be blessed even more. And so shall it be.
Geoff Ogilvy – A model of ideal demeanor
Geoff Ogilvy is playing in the finals of the World Golf Championship Match Play event this weekend against Paul Casey, another cool cucumber when it comes to going with the flow. As we often hear from golf announcers Ogilvy wasn’t always this way. The following dialogue is an excerpt from The Fairway of Life: Simple Secrets To Playing Better Golf By Going With The Flow ~ due out very soon.
The challenge for most people is that they do not embrace, and cannot accept their bad golf shots and end up hanging on to their negative energy, which once again draws them back out of The Zone. If you cannot accept what you do not like, you will keep repeating those same behaviors over and over and over again. What you resist; persists. It’s a Catch 22: You want to get mad at your bad golf shots or what you might consider bad breaks, yet the more angry or frustrated you get, the slower the process to change and get better. Anger and frustration only keeps us stuck in a never-ending repetitive cycle. Anger and frustration do not exist in The Zone . . . you won’t either. The challenge is acceptance of “what is” so you can move into what you prefer. And once you begin to accept what just happened, you will evolve much quicker to what you prefer. Once you stop beating up on yourself and relax you start playing better. Works every time and you know that! The challenge is the discipline in the moment. All you have is this moment. You do have a choice.
Simple Secret Reminder # 20 - You Have a Choice: To Be Angry, or Not
Remember: What you resist persists
Interview excerpts with Geoff Ogilvy – 2006 US Open Champion
By John Huggan, Golf Digest June 10, 2007
Q: As a young player, were you impatient on the golf course?
A: Oh, yeah. I was horrendous. I could hit five good shots in a row, then one bad one, but remember only the bad one. I’m sure I was a nightmare when I was 16 or 17, as many at that age are.
Q: What sort of stuff did you do?
A: I’d throw clubs around. I broke a few. I used a lot of four-letter words. The temper stuff is easy to fix psychologically. You either get angry or you don’t get angry; you have a choice.
I realize now that I was getting angry for everyone else around me, not for me. When you get that, that’s the day you fix it. When you play by yourself, you never smack the bag with the club, or get angry…ever… because there’s no audience. That’s my theory, anyway. After you hit a shot you get angry because you want the person you’re trying to impress to think that you’re better than this. I think that’s the root of it for nine out of 10 people. The other one is purely psycho.
Geoff Ogilvy is in the process of mastering his own mental toughness, and it shows by his outward expression of being calm more often than before. Does he still kick his putter and want to scream bloody murder? Sure, who doesn’t? The key is to be able to ground yourself and find a way to either accept or allow this negative emotion to pass through you. If we truly seek to obtain optimal results it begins with a calm heart and self-control.
“A calm heart and self-control are necessary if one is to obtain good results. If we are not in control of ourselves but instead let our impatience or anger interfere, then our work is no longer of any value. Keeping your attention focused, alert, ready to handle ably and intelligently any situation which may arise—this is mindfulness.”
—Thich Nhat Hanh, The Miracle of Mindfulness
How To Change The Things I Want To Change
The Serenity Prayer – “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference,” Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr.
First, you must understand which of these three life principles fit your situation. You must ask yourself with sincere honesty if you have control over the only corner of the universe you can control – yourself. If you can change, then welcome courage into your life. It takes courage to step outside the confines of your own self-induced comfort zone. Yes, growth can be and usually is messy. With ease and grace you can move through what at times may seem like the valley of death or the roar of the lion.
The simplest and most direct method to change is acknowledged and felt within the concept of the Nike slogan…Just Do It! It is called having heart and desire; a one-minded focus and a definiteness of purpose; having a dream, and keeping on! Others would say never give up. I prefer keeping on keeping on. Always reminding your self to keep on.
Sometimes your dream may feel like a million miles away just a day or two before it actually manifests. Very often you are less than 3 feet from gold. Keep digging…keep on moving forward. Keeping on in the direction of your hearts desire is what really makes our heart sing. Just remember who you really are – a brilliant and magnificent human being…a spiritual being living a physical existence…a leading edge extension of Source Energy. It’s about feeling worthy, because you are born worthy. It’s about feeling deserving, because you are born deserving. It’s about being born of pure love and pure joy, because you are pure love and pure joy.
Love is all there is. I’m just reminding you until you remember. It’s our dance-with-life to be in vibrational harmony with this understanding…believing in our selves, loving our selves, allowing the Well-Being in, feeling outrageous joy, and knowing it! Jack Nicklaus and other great champions knew in their minds they would hit a great shot before they actually did it. You can too! It’s called being in The Zone – pure positive energy going with the flow ~. Our work therefore is to keep on reaching for more of these good feeling thoughts – the best feeling thoughts we can at this moment in time. Allow the spiral to move us upward ever enhancing more and more of the good stuff that life is serving up. Pretty soon we end resonating in these good feeling spaces more often than not. And when we’re a tad off we can embrace it that much better than before.
If by chance you’re feeling stuck, confused, upset, angry, disconnected, out of alignment, frustration and if by chance you’re “…repeating the same behaviors over and over again expecting different results,” Einstein’s definition of insanity, then you’ve got to change the way you think. Thinking about always choking, always getting nervous over an “important” putt, that you’re never going to get any better, that the demons or golf gods are getting the best of you, that you’re not that good, not that worthy, not that deserving, that you can’t, that you’re embarrassed or worried about looking good or pleasing others, that you’re playing against another opponent will only keep on drawing more of those experiences into your game. You cannot deactivate a negative belief in order to get better…it only draws more of the same experience into your life. Sure once you make the commitment to be something new there will appear to be obstacles or set backs or ridicule that lie in the way. These are all illusions. And you can find a way to move around them, over them, or through them. For the truth of the matter is, you can be, do, or have whatever your heart desires. And if you don’t know that, then that’s the problem.
In all of these incidences above where you find yourself struggling you are quite literally paddling against the current. You’re resisting the natural flow. The first place to begin is to stop paddling so hard, stop trying so hard to figure this out…find some relief. Here’s the deal: you’ve got to find a way to feel good without having “that” condition change. Your dream will arrive that much quicker if you can first be happy without it. Because just the thought of not having it is a form of limited belief, which keeps you stuck in a lack mentality. So, what do I do if I have thought some of these kinds of thoughts that have not been in my best interest?
· I’m afraid
· I’m worried
· I judge myself too harshly
· I beat myself up
· I get mad at myself too often
· I choke
· I suck
· I have negative thoughts that get the best of me
· I think I can’t
· I’m scared
· I don’t want to hold another back…by looking for my lost ball all the time
· I get the yips
· I get ahead of myself
· I lose focus
· I’m trying
· I hold on to past failures
· I get result oriented
· Sometimes I’m just not having any fun
· I’m supposed to be better
· I don’t want to embarrass myself
· I’m not worthy, not deserving
· I want to win so badly that I’m feeling the lack of winning
· Yeah but, if only, it’s someone else’s fault, it’s a bad lie, etc., etc., etc.
· Poor me
So, these are the kinds of thoughts that are currently out of wack with our desire that are holding us back from living the life of our dreams.
Let’s acknowledge the fact, that we’ve thought some thoughts are hindering us. And some of the things we have allowed to be part of our experience are not easy to change; otherwise we would have done so by now. We’re kind of lost and we’re asking for some kind of relief, some kind of help, some kind of guidance and understanding into the mystery of life on and off the golf course. We’re looking for some kind of courage to change the things we can. Ask.
You’ve asked and now it is given. It’s time to take that leap of faith and just do it! You’ve got your dream; now take some action. The how’s will begin to present them selves through your commitment. You will be shown the way through providence or divine inspiration. It is as simple and as complex as that!
Understand this – the way you are feeling before the golf shot is an exact match to what you will get. If you keep thinking what you’ve always thought, then you will always get what you’ve always gotten. Hmmm…change the way you think and feel and you will change what you will get…brilliant deduction Einstein.
What’s the solution? You’ve got to start training your subconscious mind to think like a champion.
You’ve got to start activating more beneficial beliefs. You’ve got to give more “airtime” upon what you want. You’ve got to point yourself into the direction of your desires, or what you prefer. In the moment you understand that I’m not there yet, but I’m at least pointed toward it. In other words, I am where I am. This is the literal and vibrational understanding of what it means to be at peace with your self – both on and off the golf course.
Pretty soon old beliefs will fade away so far, so fast that you have a hard time even remembering what it was like before. Pretty soon you’ll end up creating the life of your dreams. Our purpose in life is to create our purpose. It’s why we have a vision, desire, dreams, intuition, intention, and visualization. It’s the quickest way to get from where we are to where we want to be next. The same works for each golf shot as well. Paint the picture and gravitate towards it.
You Say You Want To Become a Better Golfer?
…what are you more committed too?
You say you want to become a better golfer? Have you asked to become a better golfer? You have haven’t you? Do you really, really want it? Is thinking about it kind of scary, wondering if you really could improve? How much time, effort, and energy are you putting into it? Are you visualizing on a daily basis? Are you focusing upon what you prefer? Are you working on those areas you can improve upon? Have you set an intention? Do you have a dream? What are you more committed too? In other words, what are you really doing with your time? And I’m just not talking about your work, your family, your home, etc. I’m talking about those free moments where you could be practicing more mental techniques, more putting exercises, more visualizations, more alignment with good feeling thoughts. How committed are you? Or are you just venting?
Most likely we will find that we really aren’t as committed as we thought we were. Most likely we find that we are just venting our own frustrations with our own poor me self-judgment about ourselves. Perhaps we somehow thought we could fool ourselves? Perhaps we thought if I can only understand my swing…then perhaps I would improve? Look, it’s not my job to give you advice…I’m here to inspire and remind you that the answer and wisdom, lies within you. What do you think it takes to improve, to become better, to be what you desire to be? Here’s what I think: it takes commitment 24/7 training our subconscious minds into becoming the champion we all know ourselves to be, to keep on reaching for better feeling thoughts giving our focus and energy upon what we prefer. And this work that we do to ourselves can really be an enjoyable experience…and it’s supposed to be fun. Life and golf are supposed to be fun. Now if you are happy with where you are then so be it. Just remember nothing stays the same and becoming better, becoming what you desire to be next begins just outside the confines of our own limited and self-imposed comfort zone. We’ve settled for less. Most of us have settled for mediocrity. Ouch!
Now, if you truly desire to become a better golfer…you will be shown the way. You’ve just got to make that inspired commitment…and if your goals don’t scare you, then they are not big enough. The three steps to this process are: 1) You ask, 2) Source Energy (God) / the universe answers, and 3) You align vibrationally with your asking allowing it in and expecting it to happen. Ask and it is given…expect it to be so. You act as if it is so. It’s your work to clear the doubts, the yeah buts, ifs, and I can’t. These kinds of negative programming kill the whole deal. The way we clear our negative programming is to think new thoughts that are in alignment with what we desire - giving more airtime on this…gradually the negative will begin to fade. It’s why the Dalai Lama says, “It is essential to think strongly and forcefully, I can do it,” without boasting or fretting.
The universe always hears our asking, always answers and yes God does work in mysterious ways…most often we will be shown the awareness of the opposite of what we desire to be first. Just remember that in order to understand being calm and relaxed we must first experience being tense and uptight first. In order to understand being with an acceptable and embracing mental mindset attitude we first experience being frustrated and impatient. In order to understand joy and going with the flow, we first experience anger and struggle. How do we go about this business of changing the way we see ourselves? Life is always showing us about life itself. Are you open to hearing the message knocking on your door? The best place to begin is exactly where you are right now. Surrender to this voice, this Source Energy, God within, and let go, allow it to be, just be your self and let it be. This is the moment where things begin shifting. It’s what many spiritual beings call a paradigm shift – you see life through a new lens. The moment you understand that I’m not there yet, but I am at least pointed toward it…I am where I am…is the moment you make peace with yourself and begin your new journey of living the life of your dreams.
The formula is to first have a dream, then you take action, next you will be shown how, then you’re on your way to living the life of your dreams…from ambition and desire to meaning and manifestation. It all starts with your surrendering to your God Source within and in your commitment to playing full out. It’s really about allowing the Well-Being in, being connected, and going with the flow instead of resisting, being out of alignment, and paddling against the current. All emotion is about where you are standing in the stream of life. You are either allowing the Well-Being in or you are resisting it. It’s as simple and as complex as that!
What this takes is an awakening, an appreciation and a connection with your higher (authentic) Self. Connecting with your higher Self is what all champion’s eventually come to grips with. It’s about becoming who you really are. It’s about connecting with this incredible being that your soul already knows itself to be. It’s about getting yourself up to speed with who you are now becoming. Golf and life takes on a whole new perspective and paradigm shift once we awaken and connect more fully to this incredible power within. What is your soul after? What the soul is after is the highest expression of who you really are.
What are you more committed too? Isn’t it about time to get back in the game? I invite you to enjoy the gap from exactly where you are right now eagerly anticipating where you are going next? Begin closing that gap all the while embracing and being happy now. Reach for the best feeling thoughts you can and with enthusiasm and passion desiring to become better than you used to be. It’s about feeling good. The sooner you start feeling good without trying to control all of those exterior circumstances outside of your self, the sooner you will be on your way. So, go ahead and start feeling good right now before you even play…and all the good things in life will come into your experience. Most think that they will feel good when they play well. It doesn’t work that way. You’ve got to feel good no matter what. Soon the better it gets…the better it gets. It’s why champions are tuned in, turned on, and tapped in more often than they used to be. Be a champion! You too are meant to win just like Tiger!
Better Tomorrow
“The greatest thing about tomorrow is I will be better than I am today. I will be better as a golfer, and I will be better as a person. That’s the beauty of tomorrow. The lessons I learn today I will apply tomorrow, and I will be better. It’s a lifelong ambition to get better.”
Tiger Woods said that and he was right. Yet let us not lose sight of today. Remember to enjoy the journey that each present moment has to offer. Embrace each experience (the highs and the lows) while eagerly anticipating your next step down The Fairway of Life.
My purpose and intention is to attract all of those desiring to become a better golfer, a better human being. And in this message, you never know what might come out of this. Like myself, I invite you to embrace the same message that Dr. Wayne Dyer aspires too. “I am no better than anyone else, I am just becoming better than I used to be.”
There are 27 million golfers in the United States of America and perhaps a half billion world-wide. Most, if not all, have experienced some form of anger, frustration, fear of failing or success, and never seem to get any better. It’s a vicious cycle once it starts. This is why I do what I do. I have been there myself. I’m here to offer a new way, a new hope, a new understanding about golf and life…a new understanding that can change everything. This is my unique gift that I offer humanity – the half a billion golfers on the face of the earth. It doesn’t matter if you simply wish to have more fun, break 90, or lower your stroke average by a couple tenths – this program is for all who are drawn to hear this message.
It is my intention to ease the vicious cycle of fear and frustration that we have all allowed to run our lives. How do we do this? By telling a new story, by having a dream, by acting as if it is so for what we do desire, by reaching for better feeling thoughts, by being out of our mind, by allowing the flow of Well-Being, by connecting with who we really are, and by going with the flow – being in The Zone. It’s all of these things and even more. Stay tuned – it’s about being tuned in, turned on, and tapped in.
How does this happen? The first step is to ASK! You must ask for what it is you desire. Next, the universe will answer – always does. The third step is to align with your asking vibrationally and allow it to be. Remember: the “yeah buts” kill the whole deal.
Once you do fully commit to your hearts desire you will be shown the way…miracles unfold as Providence moves too:
· Attitude and demeanor changes
· Awareness and observation heightens
· Consciousness expands
· Understanding increases
· Confidence soars
· Fears melt away
· Shots fly on line
· Putts drop
And so shall it be. Give thanks and gratitude with each next logical step of the way!
Warmly,
“Coach” Rand
Life & Mental Golf Performance Coach
Sport & Athletic Administration, MA
Inspiring Excellence Within!
P.S. It’s not too late to sign-up to participate in our live winter
coaching sessions from the comfort of your home tele-conference style… There are audio coaching files available to get you caught up to speed if you so choose. What are you more committed too?Just click the link below and join in the fun! Isn’t it about time you get back into the game with the desire to more fully express yourself with freedom and less internal resistance!
http://randmarquardt.com/mentaledgegolfcoachingprogram.htm


