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New Release
The Fairway Of Life
Simple Secrets To Playing Better Golf By Going With The Flow ~
Rand Scott Marquardt
Life & Mental Golf Performance Coach 
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Once you make the commitment to play better golf I guarantee you everything within you will rise to the top – both your brilliance and your demons.
I recently had this conversation with my fellow golfing partner Chris Shepler who is a big fan of The Fairway of Life. He recently played in a “big” tournament – The Northern Michigan Open at Cheboygan CC. Sheppy opened with a 75, one of his best tournament rounds of his career. He wanted to let me know of all the “big time” players in the field, including Golf Professional Brian O’Neill who also opened with a first round 75, and closed with a 71.
Needless to say in round two Chris shot an 85. He tells me, “I completely lost my focus to having fun. I was out there protecting a score and I couldn’t get my mind to hit the ball harder while putting. (Classic deceleration when you are nervous). I was tentative and forgot all about having fun. I let the event to become bigger than it is. I was proud of my 75 in competitive golf and I was out there trying to protect a score. My mind went from here to there; from present – to - I gotta have it. I noticed it, but did not work to get myself back there…I stayed there (meaning I stayed in the abyss of the grind, getting ahead of myself, and not having fun). I also noticed extra frustration building whenever my drives would end up a shorter distance, which meant I would have to hit a longer iron to the green than the day before. I let this irritation translate into ‘it’s going to be tougher to make par versus just playing the shot.’ I know now after the fact that it doesn’t matter what club I am hitting (a five iron or a four iron) - it’s all the same. I did have a good confident thought process early in my second round then when things got away all I could think was I gotta have it. I gotta have a par. And if I don’t have it then I’m screwed (I won’t break 80). And I never made a putt on the second day. I couldn’t figure it out during my round until I got to the 18th tee box, and I finally got up and down because it didn’t matter anymore. Finally, I got up and down. I saw it and I did it.”
I asked Chris, what else happened? He said, “It all boils down to that demon, that devil protecting a score…I gotta have it. Instead of enjoying, I got to have it. I can’t go 3 over right now. Instead of acknowledging the day, I was concerned about my score. The next thing ya know I three-putted for bogey, then at that point I got livid and impatient. I needed it to stay under 80 and have a chance. How stupid is that.” Coach Marquardt, “Then what happened?” Chris, “I couldn’t let it go and went double bogey, double bogey. Then I finally got my s**t together talking to myself on hole #10 and birdied it. Then I pulled hooked a 2-wood on #11 and noticed I cracked the face of my club and went on a bogey train.”
Coach Marquardt, “So Chris, what do you take from this, what did you learn?” Chris, “I learned that I need to focus on being more patient (I’ve never shot a 75 in a golf tournament before) – the more times I’m in this position the better I will become at these situations. It was all a learning experience and I’m okay with it.”
Take from Chris Shepler’s experience on the golf course, as you will. We are all evolving as golfers and human beings to become our very best. I invite you to remember that golf is a great game and it’s all about the enjoying; the scoring will take care of it self. It’s just another round of golf, one stroke at a time. Stay present – play golf in the now. Visualize, visualize, visualize. See it. Also, having to have something in the future takes you out of your present. Wanting something so badly pushes it away. On a side note, I think that’s what happened to Nick Watney in the PGA – he thought about wanting it so badly. I know he believes in having fun. I remind you all – just let it happen. By the way, nothing wrong with a little nervous anxiety, just never let the event to become bigger than it really is. It’s a game of golf. Have fun. Golf is supposed to be fun – and when you get that you can drop the “supposed to” – golf is fun! Remember that – most won’t and they’ll keep repeating the same self-sabotaging behaviors over and over again, until they don’t.
Thanks Chris – next time we’ll here from golf lover Jack Zlotow and what he has taken to the course from The Fairway of Life. Please send any stories you would like to share with the readers. What I find is that others line up right behind the one who steps out and expresses their truth – and we all benefit.
Three Key Elements To Your Golf Game
Tom Lehman reiterates and confirms once again what you and I already know.
- See it
- Feel it
- Trust it
See the shot, feel the shot, trust the shot…
When Lehman asked Pavin in the Ryder Cup years ago how to handle the pressure of nerves, Pavin told him point blankly to commit to the shot.
I invite you to be and do the same!
Acknowledge it!
Whatever you are experiencing on or off the golf course simply observe it…and acknowledge it…and BE with it. Can you be with it? What you resist, persists.
Competitive Spirit & Temper
Competitive Spirit & Temper
Even Tiger Woods can do “better”…
I’ve been, wanting to write about this apparent insidious dichotomy for quite some time. For most of us having a competitive driven spirit with a burning desire to be our best almost seems to go hand in hand with short outbursts of temper tantrums whenever we hit what we consider a bad shot, or we at least give it some internal muttering. Does it have to be this way? Do you have a choice to be angry or not? What I have come to understand is to take the high road whenever I can when it comes to this apparent catch-22. Is it a perfect science, absolutely not! Like all of life, it’s an eternal process to become better than you used to be. You want to get so mad at yourself then finally you decide not too. That’s a big change and a big adjustment in most of our set patterns of behavior. And it is possible to do this WITHOUT losing one ounce of competitive fire, only to gain a “better” golf game in the long run! Is it possible to not lose your temper after a “bad” golf shot and still play your best from here on out? ABSOLUTELY! What do you think?
Geoff Ogilvy came to this understanding of taking the high road several years ago. Now look at his demeanor, without losing one ounce of his competitive fire. In an interview with John Huggan from Golf Digest after winning the 2006 US Open, Ogilvy shared some enlightening insights that he has come to understand with his golf game.
Q: As a young player, were you impatient on the golf course?
A: Oh, yeah. I was horrendous. I could hit five good shots in a row, then one bad one. I’m sure I was a nightmare when I was 16 or 17, as many at that age are.
Q: What sort of stuff did you do?
A: I’d throw clubs around. I broke a few. I used a lot of four-letter words. The temper stuff is easy to fix psychologically. You either get angry or you don’t get angry; you have a choice.
A: I realize now that I was getting angry for everyone else around me, not for me. When you get that, that’s the day you fix it. When you play by yourself, you never smack the bag with the club, or get angry…ever…because there’s no audience. That’s my theory, anyway. After you hit a shot you get angry because you want the person you’re trying to impress to think that you’re better than this. I think that’s the root of it for nine out of ten people. The other one is purely psycho.
Which one are you? Which one am I? Which one is Tiger?
Tiger Woods is still in the process of working through his own self-criticism and impatient issues. He gets mad at himself and drops some four-letter words, or uses the Lord’s name in vain, which I think is just a habit of attraction, not an intentional jab at God or Jesus. He’s stubborn, like many of us, as the day is long. He still thinks he has to get mad at himself whenever he hits a less than desirable shot to keep his fire and competitive spirit, which, by the way, I am certainly not judging. I am merely observing. I have been there most of my adult life.
Tiger states it this way after his comeback tied for 4th place finish in The Masters, “I received some criticism for bad language, which I apologized for immediately after Saturday’s round,” Woods said on his blog. “It’s tough when you’re in a competitive environment and in the flow of a tournament. I’m not perfect. All I can say is I’m trying to do everything I can without losing my fire and competitive spirit.”
The world’s most mentally tough athlete and golfer still struggles with his anger and foul language – perhaps it’s a habitual patterned response? He later apologizes as he seeks to work through this negative perception he is giving the public as a most recognized role model.
The real question is can one control, manage, or “be with” their apparent disgust of their “bad” golf shot while still keeping every bit of their competitive juices flowing? I say absolutely a resounding YES, but I invite you to experiment and experience it on your own. I shared some of this talk with the Petoskey High School golf team recently. Now I share it with a wider audience. These concepts and more are mentioned in my book, The Fairway of Life. Please visit me at http://golfissupposedtobefun.com and sign up for my free newsletter too!
Becoming a Champion
“The one who wins is always the one who wants it the most and is most expectant of it,” Abraham. And it’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. One essential ingredient in becoming a champion is to set the intention to become one. Like dreams, if we just willy nilly dance around them without ever fully committing, then nothing truly magical ever happens. You’ve got to make the commitment and stay in the process. Because the moment you think this doesn’t work, it won’t. It takes courage to keep on. It takes courage to dream and begin taking action steps beyond your normal way of being. It takes courage to step outside your current comfort zone. It takes courage to get your self up to speed with whom you say you wish to be. Maybe the reason you are where you are is because you’re scared to even set the intention for fear of failure? Maybe you’re afraid of success? Perhaps you’re afraid of what might be asked of you? Perhaps you just not willing to put in the time or you think money is the obstacle. Your greatest obstacle in your process is fear and doubt, and those are the culprits that kill many a dream and keep many golfers at mediocrity. Whereas, champion’s rise to the occasion.
“Fear of any kind is the number-one enemy of all golfers, regardless of ball-striking and shot making capabilities.”
—Jack Nicklaus
“I refuse to give into fear, real or imagined, or to be afraid either consciously or unconsciously of anything or anyone. I smile at my obstacles.”
—Tiger Woods
You can choose to keep on or fold like an accordion, yet all great champions overcame adversity and conquered their demons within. Everyone throws up all over themselves several times on their journey to becoming. It’s how you wish to perceive these growing pains. Every champion attributes their success to the adversity they overcame. They looked fear straight in the eye. Fear is your number one obstacle that must be dealt with in order to make it to the other side. Rather than be afraid of your fears, run away from them, I invite you to be with your fears. The more you become aware of them, the more you really look at them, the more you able to be with your fears, the more they disappear. For what FEARS really are is Fantasy Experienced As Real. Turn your fantasy into an awareness that is so powerful that you will thrive beyond your wildest dreams. You are Gods greatest creation and you are meant to win.
I looked “fear” in the eye and said, you come to me with confusion and darkness and failure…but I come to you in the light and strength of my being. I am in alignment with myself and you cannot stand against me.
In order to become the champion within you, you must first have the courage to deal with you fears – it is the biggest obstacle that lies between where you are right now and where it is you say you wish to be. Dealing with your fears is an eternal process. The alternative is where you are right now. One of the best ways to support you in living the life of your dreams on the golf course is to keep on feeding yourself more and more beneficial beliefs that uplift and inspire the true champion within you. “The game of golf is played mainly on a five-inch course, in a space between your ears,” Bobby Jones.
* More later about feeding our subconscious mind in a series of Creating a Champion’s Self-Image CD recordings to listen to over and over again.
You see, in order to become and begin developing the champion within you, you have got to become a match to you. What do you want? What does it take to become a match to what I want? Where do I begin? You must first ask yourselves a series of questions and then answer them. The best place to begin is exactly where you are right now. Once you begin to fully commit and set the intention to become, notice and become fully aware of what comes up for you, because without the commitment, there is not another level of awareness. Without the commitment there is not another level of growth, which is often messy. If you keep thinking what you’ve always thought, you’re going to keep getting what you’ve always gotten. My intention here is to wake you up, so you can choose and decide; to break you free from the grasp of mediocrity. “Champions give their best effort all the time,” Mike Krzyzewski. In order to fight through the mediocrity, you must first fight through your own demons of adversity, because they come first. Once you announce and declare yourself to be something, the exact opposite enters your experience first. Many will quit when the going gets tough. What will you do? With ease and grace, with humility, I invite you to keep on.
How do you see the game of golf?
For the most part I saw the game of golf as something scary, something I wanted to play so well at, yet I was afraid much of the time. Oh sure, I had my moments when I felt that everything was clicking. Golf was fun and I was caught up in the moment. However, the next day would come around and it felt like I was starting over with all my same old fears. If only I could start where I left off from the day before? I saw the game of golf as a sport I loved to hate – unless I was playing well. Slowly I am changing my tune (my self-image) to appreciate golf developing an attitude of gratitude. I am becoming more of the champion that lies within me! Do I still have nervous energy creep up before a round, and sometimes in the heat of the battle – you betcha. I’m just better prepared to handle such a monster. I am becoming my own coach, or an objective detective in my own process better equipped mentally to handle the task at hand. How do you see the game of golf?
Do you see the game of golf as a harsh, cruel, and frustrating sport? Or do you see it as an outrageously fun and enjoyable experience? Is it a grind and a struggle, or is it a pleasant stroll in the park? Do you remain open or are afraid to express your inner talents? Are you going with the flow or paddling against it? You see, how you perceive the game of golf will become an exact match every time to your experience. Whatever and wherever you give your focus, you will experience.
There’s no better feeling in the world on the golf course when everything just “clicks.” It’s a feeling of just knowing where the stream of Well-Being abounds. It’s as if God is flowing to and through us. We’ve transcended the self-imposed limit we have set. Champion’s expect to play well, and they do. Champion’s find them selves playing golf more often in The Zone. Sometimes we find ourselves in this Zone experience because we just temporarily forget about our fears. Almost out of nowhere it just happens for a spell. Yet, what if I told you that you could find yourself in this state of being more often? What would you say? Probably you’d say something along the lines of a BIG YES, of course, I would love to play golf more often in The Zone! Believe it and you will see it. Yet most have their doubts and will end up finishing their thought or conversation with a “yeah but.” Yeah but, I’ve got to swing a certain way. Yeah but, I don’t have enough time. Yeah but, my swing sucks…yeah but, yeah but, yeah but. Before your dream even begins to take root The Realist in us often compromises it, or squashes it. I guarantee you if you end your thoughts with a “yeah but;” then that will be what you’ll get. If The Realist takes over, you also get that. If you don’t believe any of this, you won’t. Most will say show me and I will believe it. What if I said the magic formula is believe it and you will see it?
Do you know why some golfers succeed consistently, and others don’t? Well, I do, and it’s all in how they perceive their world and what they allow to filter into the depths of their personal self-image, which is lodged deeply within their subconscious mind, which runs everything in their life, including their golf game. It’s called mental toughness in the golf world. Fortunately for some, like a Tiger Woods or Trevor Immelman, they have been trained from a young age with conscious parenting to become champions. For most of us, we must change our current programming; otherwise we remain stuck and acclimated to our miserable patterns of negative, fearful, and other foolish self-sabotaging behaviors and their mediocre results. To become a champion, you must act and play like one. You must believe in yourself. Arnold Palmer is doing his best in passing this kind of mental understanding onto his grandson, Sam Saunders. And he knows it’s up to Sam to grasp it.
Now on the other hand if everything is just clicking along and you’ve mastered the mental game of golf…then by all means keep on. Congratulations you’re one of a kind. But, if not, then we’ve got to start telling ourselves a new story, one that supports our new vision in being our best. The first place to begin is to start talking, acting, and playing like a champion. Acting as if it is already so. These new beneficial beliefs begin taking root into the treasury of our subconscious minds. At first it may seem like there are two of us playing this game, one who wants to have a new, more empowering self-image, and another who regresses back to our old fearful patterns of behavior. Be patient through this process of becoming and the relief of better feeling thoughts will be drawn unto you. The power and wisdom lies within you.
Therefore, let your new dominant intent to feel joy while you are playing this wonderful game and the freedom to express yourself, to grow in the process, and have more fun will come quickly and easily into alignment. See your golf as one of an enjoyable experience – even if you are well over par in the beginning of your round. Just keep asking for the alignment with the stream of Well-Being. You are God’s greatest creation and you are a creator of your own joyful golf experience. This is your mission. This is your quest. This is what you have been asking for – the freedom to fully express yourself feeling outrageous joy along the fairway of life. “Be as you wish to seem,” Socrates. Act as if it is already so.
Enjoy The Masters! Notice how Champion’s carry themselves.
Dreams
What are your dreams and intention for your golf this season and beyond? What are you expecting?
I am inviting you to get really clear about what you want. I am inviting you to get really clear about playing full out 100%, making the commitment, and taking action - one action step at a time. What action step can you take today, this week? It all begins with a thought and we always get what we expect. Reach for the best feeling thought.
Remember this: the one who wins is always the one who is clearest about their wanting and is most expectant of it.
Once you make that commitment to play full out The Universe will open up new perspectives, Providence will move through you, and the how’s will begin showing up. You will just know. There is no better feeling in golf or life when everything Clicks. And for me, it clicks a lot more than ever before. Why? Because I align with myself and allow it in. Because it’s my expectation…which always delivers a match to what I expect.
It’s how I became a low single digit handicap.
What are you expecting this year?
Clicking along…
Camilo Villegas wins Honda Classic
Camilo Villegas wins the Honda Classic with a new attitude!
Having worked with sports psychologist Gio Valiante, Camilo is poised to make a run on the PGA Tour. His new attitude is “attitude of gratitude” and to have fun playing golf. Gio suggested Camilo take stock of where he is and just have fun and appreciate. Imagine that! It all comes full circle back to having fun, appreciating, and enjoying the journey. Even golfing great Johnny Miller chimed in, “Appreciate, what a great way of making a living” as Camilo tied a five stroke win with another golfing great, Jack Nicklaus.
Golf is “supposed” to be fun. The “supposed” to be is just a reminder. Professionals are even putting smiley faces on their golf balls as reminders. Isn’t it funny how this fun thing comes full circle. Golf is fun! Too many of us end up taking this golf too damn serious. Hence, frustation sets in. You can’t play your best golf being all pissed off. Lighten up folks and have fun. Guess what, you’ll end up playing better golf simply by appreciating, having fun, and by following your bliss with outrageous joy! Too easy you say? Nah, instead of strugglin’ and trying too hard - just go with the flow ~. The joy is in the journey!
Insights Along The Fairway of Life
Embrace the highs and the lows along the fairway of life.
Most will believe that “seeing is believing.” I say that, “believing is seeing” along the fairway of life.
Daily meditation equals greater awareness and clear focus along the fairway of life.
When I awake I intend and plan for a good day. My anticipation attracts and draws those experiences into my life along the fairway of life.
Reach for the best feeling thought along the fairway of life.
The moment you stop paddling upstream against the current and let the stream turn you in the direction of Well-Being is the moment you find relief along the fairway of life.
In order to BE our best we must become a match to who we say we wish to BE along the fairway of life.
The Vibration Comes First
The Vibration comes first! First, “we” must be a thing called happy, clear, or wise - then we will do and have all that we wanted. In other words first BE as you wish to seem. Be the kind of golfer, or father, or mother, or life’s purpose, you desire. Act as if it is so. Thinking only about what-is, keeps giving you more of what-is. If you keep thinking what you have always thought you will keep getting what you have always gotten. Change your thoughts and you change your life. Changing your thoughts will change the programming of the trillions of individual cells within your body.
The key is to offer a vibration that matches your desire, your intention, your dream rather than matching what-is. Our work is to align with what we prefer and gravitate toward that. As soon as we point in that direction we literally make peace with ourselves and we feel good in our NOW. Stop paddling so hard against the current, drop the oars, and go with the flow. Many will think this is just lazy. It takes hard work to get you to where you are going. I say the joy on the journey is what it is all about. Yes, it really is that easy. But most will think the prize comes to all those who struggle really, really hard. Or they say you’ll get your reward in heaven. All this is; is a common belief that is so prevalent in our society.
Many will say give me what I want, then I’ll be happy. Again, it doesn’t work that way. Be happy and you will take inspired action and almost magically you will have what you have wanted all along.
The ones who truly achieve success do so through the amount of joy they feel on their journey toward the picture or vision they are painting. Yes, you will practice on the things you can improve, but it will be through the joy of the adventure, not the drudgery of the battle. What you visualize your desire; you set the vibration of your intention into motion. You literally gravitate toward living the life of your dreams.
It’s all in the vibration we are offering inside…and our vibrations never lie. What we are manifesting on the outside is a direct match to what we are experiencing on the inside. It’s all about our internal vibration. The Vibration of being and creating comes first!
All of this is meant to free you from the limited belief and self-imposed comfort zone of mediocrity we have all settled for. It’s time to start telling ourselves a new story – one in which we are the masters of our universe. You cannot get rid of a negative thought – you can only begin with more beneficial beliefs that support you. Eventually the negative thoughts begin fading away scarcely remembering they even existed in the first place. The way we re-program our old self-image is to keep depositing more and more beneficial beliefs into the treasury of our subconscious mind.
The Power Lies Within YOU!
Always has been…and always will be.
What is your greatest ambition in life and for your golf game?
What kind of a golfer do you know yourself to be? What do you want?
I came to this decision after years of trying very hard to work on my game – with very little to show for it. If only I could find that magic swing. If only I could drop into the slot. If only I could stay behind the ball. If only I could finish my swing; not be so nervous; remember what I’m doing; be on plane; figure this game out… If only I…
One day while in the middle of an intense internal “spiritual processing” program I announced that while I was here to work on my own internal understandings about God and about Life I also stated that it would be nice to play better golf too! It was if I was too afraid to ask to become a better golfer, ashamed of my fears – hiding behind an insecure little boy. All those years of trying so hard to figure it out – beating one range ball after another. The thought of becoming a better golfer kept coming up and I couldn’t deny it any longer. It was like, hmmm… perhaps this is another reason why I am here as well? I finally asked one of my Life Coaches about it while walking downstairs in a hotel while going to another processing program. Jim asked me what’s holding me back? I said I guess it’s my fears and afraid to play like I know I am capable of. He said, “Can you be with that?” Wow, no one ever gave me that kind of answer. Can I be with it?
As the 33 straight days of intense Life Education Program ended I came back home from my little cocoon, and gradually integrated myself back into “normal” society. Whoa, what a trip! I probably felt a little bit like Ricky Williams, the Miami Dolphins running back when he was off doing his healing and cleansing at his retreat, not too mention what Tiger is going through right now. It’s about coming clean, being authentic, and open to new understandings about life. Anyway, I took in quite a bit of stuff, to say the least. I also learned or was reminded about The Power of Intention, and to trust the power of The Universe, which at one time might have seemed more like the genie with the magic lamp – airy fairy woo-woo stuff.
After all this, I was now “ready” to put this stuff into play. It felt kind of like a test, like okay let’s give this understanding a real life experience. Let’s set a powerful intention. Let’s announce and declare, express and experience, become and fulfill who I really am. The “announce and declare” stuff is what I did. “I’m gonna be a five handicap or less by July 4th.” It stunned me to say this out loud. These are my words, my declaration, and my intention. I knew that you don’t have to know HOW, or BE READY. You just have to set the intention, commit fully, and really trust. That whole summer became an incredible roller coaster ride that tested my resolve, my fears, my acceptance, my perseverance, and my trust. I simply noticed, observed, and allowed whatever to come up, come up. Needless to say, my handicap steadily dropped from a 10 to a 7 to a 4.3 by July 4th. I then proceeded to set a new intention, “Okay Universe, awesome, I’m grateful…now I’m going to be a 2 handicap by the end of the summer.” I ended the summer at a 1.2 handicap.
The trick is learning to maintain an unwavering focus
upon your desired end result, your completed dream, the “finish line,”
without insisting upon, or even contemplating, its means of attainment,
no matter how logical, obvious, or tempting it may seem.
–Totally Unique Thoughts
This was and is my reality and my truth. What works for you, will be your reality and your truth. I’m simply inviting you to get in the game in a new way versus trying so hard to figure it out. Or perhaps you think you’ve already got it figured out? Is it working? That feeling of surrender and letting go, and letting God is what it was like for me. I tried the “I’ll figure this out path for 35 years.” Remember: The Power lies within YOU!
Three levels of awareness: I also see how this evolution and growth works in everything in life, including our golf game. Where are you?
1. Hope – I hope to make a thing happen, but it might not. I sure hope it does.
2. Belief – I have faith a thing will happen. I feel certain it will. I have faith in the outcome.
3. Knowing – I know a thing will happen. Knowing is a statement of fact. The energy of knowing is more powerful than any other energy in The Universe.
* Golf: I love it when I know I will sink this putt, stiff this shot, or hit a great drive!
Be as you wish to seem!
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